Blessings ~

Practice gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude ~

Monday, August 15, 2011

Diddle-ing ~ (aka Small Miracles, aka Survival Techniques in a Difficult World~)

Sermon at UU Church of Marblehead, MA
August 14, 2011
Reading (from All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum)
Murphy’s Law does not always hold” says Grandfather.  Every once in awhile the fundamental laws of the universe seem to be momentarily suspended, and not only does everything go right, nothing seems to be able to keep it from going right.  It’s not always something as dramatic as the long bomb or the slam-dunk that wins ball games.  There are smaller playing fields.  For example:

Ever drop a glass in the sink when you are washing dishes and have it bounce nine times and not even chip?  Ever come out after work to find your lights have been on all day and your battery’s dead but you’re parked on a hill and you let your old hoopy roll and it fires the first time you pop the clutch and off you roar with a high heart?  Ever pull out that drawer in your desk that has a ten-year accumulation of junk in it-pull it out too far and too fast-and just as it’s about to vomit its contents all over the room, you get a knee under it and stagger back hopping on one foot doing a balancing act like the Great Zucchini and you don’t lose it?  A near-miss at an intersection; the glass of knocked over milk that waltzes across the table but doesn’t spill; the deposit that beat your rubber check to the bank because there was a holiday you forgot about; the lump in your breast that turned out to be benign; the heart attack that turned out to be gas; picking the right lane for once in a traffic jam; opening the door of your car with a coat hanger through the wing window on the first try.  And on and on and on and on.  You’ve got your own list.

When small miracles occur for ordinary people, day by ordinary day.  When not only did the worst not happen, but you got the gift of what-could-never-happen-but-did.  How grand to beat the odds for a change. 

My grandfather says he blesses God each day when he takes himself off to bed having eaten and not having been eaten once again.

Sermon

My first GPS had this wonderful extra thing it did.  Everytime you made a correct turn it went ‘diddle-ing.’  It was VERY affirming.  My newer GPS doesn’t do that.  I had forgotten about this affirming feature until recently when the topic of GPSes came up in conversation.  I was at a Bed & Breakfast in Stratford, Ontario and somehow the conversation at the breakfast table ended up being about GPSes.  One person said they set the language on theirs to British because they liked the accent.  Another commented on how the language was inadvertently set to a language they didn’t know once.  Yet another, said hers began giving wrong directions!  At that moment I recalled how this old GPS of mine did that diddddling thing and how I enjoyed that and missed it.  Another woman said ‘oh you must have had  a Magellan because mine did that too and I loved it!”  As she said that I felt a bit of a loss – like I realllly missed it.  That it was a good thing and that it felt good and that the next time I buy a GPS I will LOOK to see if it has that feature.  In fact, I might even hold that feature more dear than the screensize or accent choices.  It almost seems silly to tell you that now, but let me tell you more ~

You see, it ties back to our reading this morning from our Unitarian Universalist brother, Robert Fulghum.  In this wee reflection he offers us an important tool – something as important as protein in our diets, as sunshine on our skin, as love in our lives.  He reminds us of the important of affirming that good things happen and they happen to us all the time.  They might be small things, ordinary things.  They might be ridiculous things.  We might not recognize them and THAT is the point.  Have you ever been on skis and done that wobbly thing where you are going to wipe out and then you’re not and then you catch your balance for a moment but then your ski catches an edge ……or perhaps on ice in the driveway or sidewalk……. Or found yourself heading into a tollbooth and realized you didn’t have any money but groped around in your glove compartment, purse, cup holder or under the floor mat and found enough!  Or left your wallet, or phone or phone charger somewhere and held your breath hoping to find it when you went back and sure enough, you did?  You know what I’m talking about.  Those moments of pure grace when truly nothing you did impacted the outcome.  The cards just fell your way.  In fact, it was a lot like getting dealt a straight royal flush in poker!  Nothing you were owed.  Nothing you could predict.  Nothing certain about it. 

So, here (on the left) we have this collection of things that happen that are good.  And over here (on the right), some other stuff that isn’t very good.  Let’s talk about THAT stuff for just a moment.

Benjamin Franklin was reported to have said ‘In this world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.’  For most, we know that list is a bit longer, don’t we.  There are things we can pretty much count on  as human beings. Like fear, loss, grief, pain. There are things we hope for too. Like love, friendship and joy.   But there’s a decent amount of hard stuff we are each likely to endure.  Right now, it’s been pretty painful watching what’s happened with the stock market and the economy.  It makes me worry.  And the wars we’re engaged in make me sad and with children serving in the military, the wars frighten me as well.  And I’m also frightened about hate in our world.   A long list of injustices in our world bring me to tears, make me sad and angry and fearful.  I think we each have our own lists of stuff we’d place over here (on the right).

Often our things come with a great big slice of ‘this isn’t fair’ or ‘this is too much’ or ‘how could this have possibly happened to me?’  Just as in the case of the wobbly ski moment when you don’t fall - what about the person that does fall and loses mobility in their lower body for life?  Or the marathoner who dies from heart failure?  Or the person struck and killed by a driver who was impaired?  Consider that next Sunday we will be memorializing someone who ate only organic foods, exercised all of her life and never smoked, yet died having only reached her 60s.  Consider that this afternoon we are memorializing someone who had such a sharp mind and yet lost  pieces of who she was bit by bit over the last decade.

We live in a world in which all sorts of things are certain, not just death and taxes.  And they come in layers – double, triple layers at times.  Some of us surely get more than what would seem a fair share if such a thing existed.  And for most of us, someone is always getting a far larger share.  I’m of an age where the phrase ‘but children are starving in Biafra’ holds some meaning, as a reminder that others are suffering more.  But today’s message isn’t about that comparison, or even the comparison that privilege, whether it be economic, cultural, racial, ableness or any other. It’s about our own individual lives.  And I’m not asking us to go all narcissistic here, but I am inviting us to get up close and personal and intentional about our lived experience.  Our ordinary, daily lived experience.  What’s over here and what’s right here.  Up close, immensely personal.  Because that’s where the power of Fulghum’s message lies. 

Usually when we talk about intentionality in our spiritual lives, the focal point is ‘the holy’ or ‘sacred space’ or ‘divinity.’  It’s a terrific journaling question – to ask ‘where did I see or experience the divine today?  And it’s a superb question and a superb spiritual practice. To look for the divine, to engage with the divine. It could be in seeing a couple in loving embrace. The kind that makes clear they don’t notice anyone else in the world in that moment.  Or it could be watching a bee dancing among wildflowers.  Or it could come in the form of reconciliation between two people.  Or in song or art.  I see and experience the divine each Sunday here with you.  When I look out at Jean and Walt Rostron and marvel at their love – a slice of the divine.  When I see a family like Desiree, Dasheill and Julius and Desiree DeStefano my soul smiles because the tenderness of their relationship, it too seems a slice of divinity.  When I pick a wildflower and marvel at the colors – that too, the divine.

But, this is different. This thing Fulghum calls small miracles.  It’s immensely personal.  It’s about moments that go right in our lives.  Fulghum’s small miracles are actually moments that defy going wrong! 

I have a theory about those moments and I include things that just go right even if there isn’t any beating the odds involved.  Like frosting a cake and not one piece of the cake tears up or even begins to tear!  Or hanging a picture and once you’ve put the nail in and gotten the picture up, it’s either exactly where you intended or you like the new spot better!  Or cooking scallops just right!

My theory is that noticing these moments is affirming in a way that helps balance the oft-times enormous load of things that don’t go well and seem so large they are beyond our control.  This is not to say that we should remain in our small worlds, manage our emotions and not work to correct injustice and prevent pain.  It is to say that actions we take within our small worlds can strengthen that we might do so as healthy, hopeful souls.

Lacking a GPS to affirm all these moments, we must become our own navigation systems and open ourselves to recognizing when grace happens and things go well, particularly when we didn’t expect them to and especially when they defied all odds.  Perhaps MOST ESPECIALLY when they come right smack in the middle of stuff that didn’t go well at all!

This is our own personal work and no other’s.  If we can do that, then when the other comes, as it is certain to do, we will be stronger, firm in heart and stance if not ready, for when are we ever ready for loss, grief, fear, pain.  So, stronger, firm in heart and firm in stance will have to do.

And so, friends, our spiritual task?  Hone our vision that we might note the moments here (on left).  Count them like calories or pennies.  Know them, not late in the day as we head for bed but as they occur.  Not as something we are grateful for as part of an evening grace, but right in the moment.  In real time! 

Woke up less sore than usual --- diddle-ing.  Didn’t spill the coffee beans as usual ---- diddle-ing.  Got my hair just right --- diddle-ing.  Caught up on bills ---- diddle-ing.   Got the groceries in the door just as the bag began to rip --- diddle-ing.  Found a tick but it wasn’t a deer tick ---- diddle-ing!  Got stopped for speeding but just as the officer was about to get out of his car, another car sped by going faster ---- diddle-ing!  Flight overbooked but got a $200 voucher and upgraded to first class --- DIDDLE-ING!  Was feeling grouchy and cat rubbed against leg --- Didde-ling! 

Ate today – diddle-ing

Wasn’t eaten – diddle-ing!

And finally, let’s add to this growing pile of things that are going right and add one more ----- found a religious community to call home ---- diddle-ing, diddle-ing, diddle-ing!