Blessings ~

Practice gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude ~

Monday, September 24, 2012

Who are the Unitarian Universalists?



 A Sermon Delivered on Sept 23, 2012



Aliza:       Why did the Unitarian-Universalist cross the road?*
Wendy:   To support the chicken on its own journey


*this and the following jokes assembled and at times adapted from a variety of online sources
Wendy:   What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness?
Aliza:        Someone who knocks on your door and doesn’t know what to say.

Aliza:       Why can’t UUs sing very well in choirs?
Wendy:   Because they’re always reading ahead to see if they agree with the next verse.

Wendy:     How does a UU walk on water?              
Aliza         She waits until winter.
Aliza:       What do you get when you cross a televangelist with a Unitarian Universalist?
Wendy:     A television show that demands money from you for no particular reason.

Aliza:        Have you seen the new UU bumper sticker?   “Honk If You’re Not Sure.”
Wendy:     have you heard the one that says a Unitarian is just a Quaker with Attention Deficit Disorder?
Aliza:         how about the sign at the Unitarian church that said: Bible study at 7:00. Bring your Bible and a pair of scissors.

Wendy:               Didja hear the one about the UU monastery. All are welcome, but to allow for peaceful contemplation, you must take a vow of silence -- unless you think of something REALLY good!
Aliza:         How about the two roadsigns on the way to heaven?  One says, “This way to heaven.”  The other says, “This way to a discussion about heaven.”  UUs always pick the second way

Wendy:     How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to change a light bulb?”  
Aliza:         Does the light bulb really want to change?
Wendy:     Yes
Aliza:         “Well then, We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.  However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.  You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service.  We explore a number or light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to spiritual luminescence.”
Wendy:               Did you know they even joke about us on radio -this one is from Garrison Keillor: There are the folks in Lake Woebegon who have a big satellite dish and get 500 channels on their TV – including the surgery channel, the fishing channel, and the Unitarian Channel, which is what the fishing channel would be like if they didn’t actually put the fish hooks and lines in the water, but just sat around and discussed whether or not there really are fish.
Aliza:        Yeah – on TV too!  On the Simpsons, at a church Ice-cream social –
Lisa: “What flavors do you have?”
Rev. Lovejoy: “Well, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and our new Unitarian flavor ice cream.”
Lisa: “I’ll have that” (Rev hands her an empty bowl)
Lisa: “But there’s nothing in there.”
Rev: “Eeeexactly.”
Wendy & Aliza    And of course there’s the top ten, you know you are a Unitarian Universalist when
You may be a Unitarian Universalist if:
* you think socks are too formal for a Summer service.
* you know at least 5 ways to say “Happy holidays!”
* your idea of a guy’s night out is going to a N.O.W. rally.
*
you think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle.”.
*
the only time “Jesus” is mentioned at church is when someone trips or stubs a toe.
* the name of your church is longer than your arm.
* you find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
*
you study the “ten suggestions” instead of the “Ten Commandments.”
* to explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance.
* you take your day planner to church instead of the Bible.
 

I have to tell you that while I am not a big fan of UU jokes, they don’t really bother me.  At least they don’t bother me in the same way one comment often attributed to our faith does.  That line?

Aliza:           Oh you don’t have to believe anything!

Wendy:       Or

Aliza:           you can believe whatever you want! 

ARGHHHHH!  On a clinical level, I suppose that is true – BUT --- argggg it makes us sound like belief isn’t important at all.  That it’s an easy faith.  Oh – anything you want!

MORE ARGHHHHH

And yet, well meaning people say it every day.  You may have said it – perhaps I’ve even said it ---- I don’t think I really have, but many, many people I know and love and respect have!
I think it’s said so often because it’s easy and it’s mostly true and it doesn’t take much of ourselves to offer that line up.  Which is good because as a group, we are generally pretty busy! Who are the UUs?  Oh, anyone really!  What do they believe?  Oh, anything they want!  It’s such an easy answer, and mostly true.  And yet, too easy and not entirely true.  And may I just say ‘lackluster and unsatisfactory and bordering on dismissive and even dangerous!”   I may be overstating just a tad on the dangerous, but I think I’m on safe ground with the dismissive!

And so, Today as we welcome new members into our community I’d like to offer up some different language to the question of who are the Unitarian Universalists?

Before you get worried let me assure you that this won’t be a history lesson!

Sure, it would be interesting to some – you know, to hear about our King over in Transylvania who in the 16 century became the 1st and only UU king after hosting a panel on the question of religion.  About how he, and his mom, Queen Isabella, chose Unitarianism after listing to the choices but more importantly issued the Edict of Torda – insisting on religious tolerance.  And Michael Servetus, our forebear who was burned at the stake for writing on the errors of the trinity – and how Universalist John Murray landed right here in New England, well got stuck actually on a low tide and in a sort-of build-it and they will come story, ended up preaching in the church that was just waiting for his message of a loving God.  That way you’d know that yes, we are old – very old – not to be confused with the Moonies – and yes, emerged from Christianity but no, aren’t mostly self-identified as Christian now.  And if I really got going we could name names, leaders, and authors, and poets, and presidents even – were we to name drop, you’d probably hear about the Adams – as in John and John Quincy.

And, were I to be dwelling on such things, it might even be helpful to offer up some theological background – you know, that Unitarianism was a heresy to the trinity – that God was one rather than three, and that Universalism was also a heresy – inviting followers to believe God was a loving God who would let all creation’s children into heaven.

But if I did that, I’d probably have to go only to add our transcendentalists like Theodore Parker, Thoreau and Emerson – those who said ‘we don’t need anyone in between ourselves and the divine.  And then I’d have to tell you about the humanists and how our faith grew to include many understandings of God,  which is different, I think, than saying ‘oh – it doesn’t matter what you believe!’

And actually, were I going on about all of this, I’d likely be saying over and over again --- these people were believers – with a capital B.  It mattered that they believed and it mattered WHAT they believed and then it mattered what they DID.  What they were carving out was a way of being in religious community with an expansive understanding that each of us could hold pieces of truth, even if they were in opposition to one another ... and that a gem of our faith was in talking about those differences – dare I say even celebrating them.

And === gosh, just when you began to worry about how this was all about theology, I’d probably feel like I had to explain how justice seeking was embedded in that faith from the start and I’d probably talk about some of our heroines and heroes.  People who lived our faith out loud and large and proud BELIEVING that to be a person of religion one had to live a faithful life.  Perhaps informed by differing beliefs but formed together as a people who could, should and would make our world better for all creation’s children.  And maybe, just as I was about to go on a whole riff of how we were on the leading edge of justice seeking work, well, I know, were I on such a trajectory, I’d feel compelled, called even, to say it’s not just about who we were and are, it’s about who we are not

That we can be just as fundamental as other faiths.  That although we were birthed in beliefs that no one person or religion or lack of religion holds the truth, we lose sight of our best selves, often and live with an intolerant edge to those we assume are not like us.  That although we were weaned on justice-seeking events – we cannot call our work complete.  That it’s not enough that we were in Selma, we are a people who practice racism too.  It’s not enough that we worked for fair labor practices, educational reform, the right for women to vote and marriage equality, we oppress people too.  At times through our silence and inaction, but more importantly through our lives of privilege in systems built upon oppressing and exploiting others.  I’d get serious at that point, because I’d really want to be heard and too often when we travel to difficult places in our own identities – we get defensive and shut down.  And so, were I speaking to you of such things, I’d talk gently and say ‘it’s not about blame – that’s not who we are,’ but it is about seeing the truth, about embracing solidarity even when we’ve a price to pay and it’s so, so, so rich and so central to who we are.  And we have much to celebrate, as we continue to move forward, widening our circle across borders of all kinds.  And in that space, I’d remind us that sometimes in the celebration of who we are, we forget that we are best in relationship with other faiths and secular communities rather than in believing we are something better.  I’d stay in that gentle space once more to remind us that the something better is ín relationship’ with all other people who are something other than who we are. Maybe I’d start in on examples of when we do that really well --- and who are leaders in such efforts have been --- and then,  I hope I would catch myself and say --- you know who they were isn’t the point either.

And I’d take a breath and say, you see, who the Unitarian Universalists are, well, look around it’s you.  It’s you and me and all that formed us before we arrived, all that binds us now as a group, and please hear --- it’s all that we might be – should we so choose to believe. 

Who are the Unitarian Universalists?  It’s really quite simple, so I don’t know why I’d ever go on and on about it!

We are the Unitarian Universalists. 

Those who are here Today, choosing religious community

Believing that Together we are more

Moving toward a better tomorrow, for ourselves, for our communities, for our planet, our world for all creation’s children

We ARE the Unitarian Universalists, today, together, toward a better tomorrow!

May it be so.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The truth about beauty ~


The Truth about Beauty ~
(also known as why you should take your child/youth/self to Sunday school!)
A sermon preached at UU Marblehead, MA Sept 16, 2012

There is a YouTube video I wanted to use as a reading this morning but it seemed to me a tad too jarring for a Sunday morning worship experience.   It begins with an image of a young girl. Perhaps second or third grade.  She has a beautiful fresh face, and reddish hair, She is bright eyed and alive.  She seems to be looking into the camera with a curiosity. 
Next, you see the word ‘onslaught’ and then the song begins.  “Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!!!!!
AND THEN images fly one after another in a frenzy of color, skin and makeup.  Images of scantily clad model-thin, heavily made up women.  The images are highly sexualized.  As these images fly by, selling undergarments, perfume, diet aids, clothing and food substitutes, words appear --- thin, diet, transform, skin, better, smooth away.  “you’ll look younger, smaller, lighter, tighter, softer, thinner”.
Next a young woman in underwear on a scale in a time lapse series that has her body grow and shrink and grow and shrink.  Images of a bulimic episode fade off to a woman getting breast implants followed by images of cosmetic surgery, markers drawing on bodies and faces followed by removals of some pieces, additions of others, changing a body into something it was not, has never been, somehow longs to be.
A lone sentence appears on the screen – “Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does.”  You see the little girl once more.  Now walking with classmates.  Her hair bouncing just so, her mouth sporting lipstick, her gaze somehow different – as if for an audience rather than for herself.  No longer with curious eyes looking out to see, rather waiting to be seen, judged, affirmed.
The whole thing takes 1 minute and twenty seconds.
This short is part of a wonderful series by Dove – you know, the soap people.  You may recall an earlier short, called Evolution.  Using time-lapse photography it showed a woman being made-up, hair styled and “beautified.” Then showed how her already beautiful image was altered using a computer program.  Her eyes and mouth made larger, eyebrows raised higher, neck stretched longer and pieces on each side cut away to make it thinner. The results appeared on a billboard.  Essentially an unachievable beauty being portrayed as ideal and true.
These films and others are part of a program Dove has to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem in girls.  One short shows images of young girls with words suggesting what is on their minds:  She wishes she didn’t have freckles, she wishes she wasn’t fat, she wishes she had blond hair
            Another film shows girls in gymnastics, ballet and swimming, along with the captions – “will skip gymnastics” “will drop out of ballet” “will stop swimming lessons.” And the fact that of 302 girls aged 10-17, half dropped out of physical activities like these because they felt bad about how they looked.
Another includes a young girl telling how her waist isn’t thin enough, another how she isn’t pretty so people don’t talk to her at school, another recalling the first time she was told she was ugly and then a young woman, now mother, telling of how she came back to school one fall terribly thin and people started talking to her and she felt popular.  That same year she was hospitalized from anorexia.
            The focus is on girls in these series but it wouldn’t be hard to image what they would look like if they were made for boys - Images of muscles, square jaws, sculpted arms, business suits, weights, sports equipment, words like earn more, wealth, power. Then the thoughts --- I hope I won’t lose my hair.  I hope I don’t look gay.  I wish I were taller, stronger, hairier, less hairy, better, better, better.
            And what would we imagine for our transgender youth – even here in this liberal, progressive slice of our comparatively liberal progressive country, the majority message is clear – abnormal.    And our gay, lesbian and bisexual youngsters?  Our differently abled children?  Our Muslim children?  Our Atheist children?
            To be sure --- not all the messaging out there is negative – In the music industry, we have Pink’s song – pretty, pretty please – don’t you ever feel like you less than, less than perfect  and Lady Gaga’s  – Born this Way -  I’m beautiful in my way – I was born this way.
            And there are champions trying to change the media industry –champions like 14 year old Julia Bluhm, from Waterville, Me., who started an online petition to get Seventeen Magazine to print at least one unaltered picture a month. She was frustrated that fellow ballet students were complaining they were fat.  Her online petition drew over 80,000 signers within days, altered how Seventeen uses their photos and helped birth Seventeen’s Body Peace Treaty.   A document that calls teens to seventeen different promises, including ‘know that I am already beautiful just the way I am.’
            But it’s not the mission of Seventeen, nor the music industry or even those who sell soap, unless they choose it to be.  With gratitude to Dove, for their exceptional work,  I invite you to consider the power and consistency and strength of the message our young people are fed every day.  The jarring part of that Dove video was that the rapid-fire imaging is true.  It’s everywhere!  Even the most protective parents aren’t able to shield their children. 
            In a world so well equipped to ‘speak’ to our children and to ‘teach’ our children what is good and what is beautiful, what is worthy, the need to be grounded by the truth has never been more important.  The truth that each and every one of them is worthy, is good, is beautiful.  Each and every one of them.    That message needs to be written in permanent ink on every soul as an inoculation to the whirlwind media messaging of our world.  Further we need to place a heart on each of those innocent souls reminding them they are loved.  Not because of the clothes they wear, the way they look, the things they do.  Loved, because they deserve to be loved.  And they deserve to be children.  And after we’ve written that message on their soul and etched that heart, we  need to point to the golden thread that connects each soul together and remind them that they are part of the human family – brothers, sisters, siblings all and that the message within telling them they are worthy and good and beautiful, well that is written inside of their world siblings too --- the child on the playground they aren’t too fond of, the boy who wears the too-short pants and the new student who sorta looks like a girl and sorta looks like a boy – that student has the heart and messages too.  And we need to check to be sure the message and the heart never, ever get written over or laser-beamed off.  Because what we know is that they will need those when they are 14 and 18 and 22 and 29 and 30 and when they are each of our ages too.   How many here, I wonder, look into a mirror and see beauty?  How many of us are immune from the years of images, pounded at our doors?  Our intellect may tell us something different, but I know I still react to what is portrayed, and has always been portrayed as the beauty ideal.
            The messages that tell us we need more, should eat less, weigh less, drink this, do that, be that all so we can be better-off, better-liked, better-whatever ------ it’s aimed at us too. 
            Have we forgotten the message once written on our souls?   That we are worthy, good and beautiful.  And the little heart to remind us we were loved-just as we are.  And the golden thread reminding us we were all connected.  Or was it ever written at all?
            I know mine was.  I was lucky.  I was raised in a Sunday school just like this one, went to Sunday services and youth group and continued wherever I lived.  I recall with clarity and fondness explaining to a summer friend that at school I had my jock friends, my smart friends, my wild friends and my church youth group friends.  I was as clear then as now what connected us.  Jock friends - Sports, smart friends - AP classes, wild friends - smoking pot in the cemetery, youth group friends - being accepted and accepting for exactly who we were, together.  It’s remarkable when I gaze back at who was in that group.  Not a one overlapped with my other friends.  But I knew what it was that connected us and I treasure it still.
I know what I learned each of those groups.  Teamwork and good sportsmanship with the jock group.  Study habits, writing, analysis and debate skills in that academic group. Being outraegeous – and things I won’t list from my wild group.  Being accepted just as I am and accepting others from my church group.  Not from a minister, though there is one I adored, not from a religious educator, though our children’s minister was one of the UU pioneers, not even a youth group leader, though they were great too – it was something larger than any one piece.  It was the lived faith evident when I was there, in worship or class or play or youth group --- and in how I witnessed those same people out in the community. The something larger wasn’t a deity, for me, but it was as grand, perhaps more grand.  It was a call to a truer, better self that started with this baseline understanding that you were worthy, beautiful and loved.  And that so was the person to your left, to your right, regardless of what they believed, wore or drove.
            And that’s when and where the message was written on my soul.  And the little heart was etched, telling me I was loved – not just by my family, but by an entire community of people who agreed that it was how it should be.  And that’s when I learned about that golden thread that couldn’t be broken.  That no matter what happened in my world, I was connected.  That I would be cared about --- but that I had to care too. 
            Those three things have served me all of my life.  They anchor me.  They inform me in all things.  And when I am lost, as can happen to any of us on our journeys, they save me.  They and the community that holds them dear.
            I don’t imagine anyone is surprised by the onslaught of images I shared today.  I think we’ve become pretty accustomed to the world of messaging and perhaps even believe ourselves immune.  But the costs we pay in our children’s souls is hefty and it’s growing.  It’s not just about beauty; it’s about consumerism and success and what defines being a good person, leading a good life.   Those aren’t things I want defined by business.
            Here we offer something to counter that messaging.  Something to save our children when they get lost.  Something to supplement the messaging in the family home and help children see it’s not just their parents.

Here is where you’ll hear how beautiful and worthy you are.  Here you will feel loved and accepted.  Here you will learn about that golden thread.  You’ll learn how to tug it when you need help and how to respond when you feel tugged.  
            Here is where a child can learn that the stone washed jeans she wants impact the health of another girl her age or that the bag she absolutely has to have was made by children who must labor if their family is to eat.  Where a child can learn that no one person holds the truth to the largest questions in life and that his own experience with awe, wonder and wondering is just as important as mine.  Where a child can learn that adults are flawed, and funny, and ... when they are their best selves ---- pretty interesting conversation partners.
            Where a child can hear and sing the hymn “How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful?  How could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole?  How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle?  How deeply you’re connected to my soul.”          Where a child can go with their entire self, broken or whole or somewhere in between and be loved by a community who really, really, really believes that they are treasured, just as they are....... not by one minister or one religious educator but by an entire community who believes such things to be true.
            No child, or adult, will escape the messaging the world offers – My prayer this morning, is that each of them finds a place like this to tell them it’s just not true. Then hug them, love them and offer them something far better.

Dove YouTube links =  Beauty Pressure         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60I
                                    Evolution                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
                                    Girl’s Self Esteem       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS8OmSQpb9A
                                    Growing Up                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElKFK6rRHNY

Libby Roderick’s song “How Could Anyone” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKQ5pwstX-4

Seventeen’s Body Peace Treaty                  http://www.seventeen.com/health/tips/body-peace-pledge