~Coming Home ~

Coming Home ~

There is a wonderful verb in Spanish that translates into ‘Come to realize.’ The verb is ‘darse cuenta.’ It’s a verb form that took me some getting used to because ‘dar cuenta’ is used to say ‘gave an account of’ but darse cuenta alters the verb to be reflexive and in doing so alters it to ‘come to realize.’  Once learned, it readily found a home in thought and speech. In the week leading up to my return I took time to reflect upon my experience and asked myself the question, ‘What is it I bring home to UUCM?’ I knew I ‘felt’rested. I knew my Spanish had improved. I knew a lot more about the history and culture of México and also about the culture and beliefs of the Mayan people.  But I had a sense that I brought something else home. I could feel that I just as my body and mind had been rested, challenged and reenergized, my soul, too, had ‘come to realize’ something different. A new way of being. I sought to put words to it and the reflections that follow are the result. 

~Gracias por Darse Cuenta~

Somewhere in the midst of my Spanish studies, I let go. I let go of trying so hard to listen to the exact words offered by one of my teachers, fellow students or community member.  I haven’t a clue of what prompted me to do so. It may have been that I tired of tensing my whole body up determined to understand each and every word. It may have been that I eased up inadvertently, lulled by the tropical breeze and a breakfast of fresh mango, papaya and pineapple. It could have been either or both or things I cannot recall.  Regardless of how it happened, it did, and the world changed.  I changed. Suddenly each conversation was about ‘who’ the person was and ‘what’ they wanted to communicate.  The point became the relationship.The important pieces moved from noun, verb and adjectives to eye contact, body proximity and smiles. The outcome shifted from ‘knowing’ to ‘being.’ It made all the difference. From that moment on, certainly I would spend hours studying verb tenses, sentence structure and an expanding vocabulary, BUT I had come to realize that the ‘win’ did not reside in mastering the language. It resided in answering this simple question ...

“Can you park your understanding of ‘achievement’ at the door and come know me?”

It seems like such a small question, but for me, saying ‘yes’ meant ‘yes’ to these questions as well.

“Can you park your understanding of ‘progress’ (and progressive) at the door and come know me?”

“Can you park your understanding of ‘education’ at the door and come know me?”

 “Can you park your understanding of ‘civilized’ (and civilization) at the door and come know me?”

“Can you park your understanding of ‘success’ at the door and come know me?”

“Can you park your understanding of ‘enlightened’ at the door and come know me?”

My ‘yes’ required leaving behind layers and layers and layers of culture-based formation.  It meant acknowledging my work in putting down my US baggage that I might then be open to hearing the meaning and value of very different ways of being.  It meant going further than discarding preconceptions to a commitment to actively challenge my reactions.  (More on a vivid example of this in the Sunday, April 29^th service!). 

I also ‘came to realize’ that this was one of those lessons that isn’t ever over.  It takes holding on to that level of awareness in each and every interaction, whether it be in a different country or across cultures in your own home. We are such different beings – each of us.  We arrive in any interaction with all of who we are, predisposed to receive new information, new experiences and new people into a structure built solidly over years from the materials we had at hand.  I have ‘come to realize’ that each time I step out of my structure, the deep gifts of an expanded spirit in community with other spirits awaits.   The trick is in realizing that’s true here at home as well.  Particularly even more so ~

~Gracias por ‘darse cuenta.’~

*Rev. von Zirpolo was on sabbatical in Playa del Carmen, México for three months.  She spent that time in Spanish immersion school, frolicking with sea turtles, rays and tropical fish, exploring Mayan ruins and just being ~ (With gratitude to the UU Congregation of Marblehead for their support and commitment to clergy sabbatical and most particularly to this sabbatical and this minister!!! Further appreciation to the many colleagues, lay & ordained who graced UUCM with their presence and to UUCM for doing the same!)