Who are the Unitarian Universalists?

 A Sermon Delivered on Sept 23, 2012

Aliza:       Why did the Unitarian-Universalist cross the road?*
Wendy:   To support the chicken on its own journey

*this and the following jokes assembled and at times adapted from a variety of online sources

Wendy:   What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness?

Aliza:        Someone who knocks on your door and doesn’t know what to say.

Aliza:       Why can’t UUs sing very well in choirs?

Wendy:   Because they’re always reading ahead to see if they agree with the next verse.

Wendy:     How does a UU walk on water?              

Aliza         She waits until winter.

Aliza:       What do you get when you cross a televangelist with a Unitarian Universalist?

Wendy:     A television show that demands money from you for no particular reason.

Aliza:        Have you seen the new UU bumper sticker?   “Honk If You’re Not Sure.”

Wendy:     have you heard the one that says a Unitarian is just a Quaker with Attention Deficit Disorder?

Aliza:         how about the sign at the Unitarian church that said: Bible study at 7:00. Bring your Bible and a pair of scissors.

Wendy:               Didja hear the one about the UU monastery. All are welcome, but to allow for peaceful contemplation, you must take a vow of silence -- unless you think of something REALLY good!

Aliza:         How about the two roadsigns on the way to heaven?  One says, “This way to heaven.”  The other says, “This way to a discussion about heaven.”  UUs always pick the second way

Wendy:     How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to change a light bulb?”  

Aliza:         Does the light bulb really want to change?

Wendy:     Yes

Aliza:         “Well then, We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.  However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.  You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service.  We explore a number or light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to spiritual luminescence.”

Wendy:               Did you know they even joke about us on radio -this one is from Garrison Keillor: There are the folks in Lake Woebegon who have a big satellite dish and get 500 channels on their TV – including the surgery channel, the fishing channel, and the Unitarian Channel, which is what the fishing channel would be like if they didn’t actually put the fish hooks and lines in the water, but just sat around and discussed whether or not there really are fish.

Aliza:        Yeah – on TV too!  On the Simpsons, at a church Ice-cream social –

Lisa: “What flavors do you have?”
Rev. Lovejoy: “Well, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and our new Unitarian flavor ice cream.”
Lisa: “I’ll have that” (Rev hands her an empty bowl)
Lisa: “But there’s nothing in there.”
Rev: “Eeeexactly.”

Wendy & Aliza    And of course there’s the top ten, you know you are a Unitarian Universalist when

You may be a Unitarian Universalist if:

* you think socks are too formal for a Summer service.
* you know at least 5 ways to say “Happy holidays!”
* your idea of a guy’s night out is going to a N.O.W. rally.
* you think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle.”.
* the only time “Jesus” is mentioned at church is when someone trips or stubs a toe.
* the name of your church is longer than your arm.
* you find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
* you study the “ten suggestions” instead of the “Ten Commandments.”
* to explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance.
* you take your day planner to church instead of the Bible. 

I have to tell you that while I am not a big fan of UU jokes, they don’t really bother me.  At least they don’t bother me in the same way one comment often attributed to our faith does.  That line?

Aliza:           Oh you don’t have to believe anything!

Wendy:       Or

Aliza:           you can believe whatever you want! 

ARGHHHHH!  On a clinical level, I suppose that is true – BUT --- argggg it makes us sound like belief isn’t important at all.  That it’s an easy faith.  Oh – anything you want!

MORE ARGHHHHH

And yet, well meaning people say it every day.  You may have said it – perhaps I’ve even said it ---- I don’t think I really have, but many, many people I know and love and respect have!

I think it’s said so often because it’s easy and it’s mostly true and it doesn’t take much of ourselves to offer that line up.  Which is good because as a group, we are generally pretty busy! Who are the UUs?  Oh, anyone really!  What do they believe?  Oh, anything they want!  It’s such an easy answer, and mostly true.  And yet, too easy and not entirely true.  And may I just say ‘lackluster and unsatisfactory and bordering on dismissive and even dangerous!”   I may be overstating just a tad on the dangerous, but I think I’m on safe ground with the dismissive!

And so, Today as we welcome new members into our community I’d like to offer up some different language to the question of who are the Unitarian Universalists?

Before you get worried let me assure you that this won’t be a history lesson!

Sure, it would be interesting to some – you know, to hear about our King over in Transylvania who in the 16 century became the 1^st and only UU king after hosting a panel on the question of religion.  About how he, and his mom, Queen Isabella, chose Unitarianism after listing to the choices but more importantly issued the Edict of Torda – insisting on religious tolerance.  And Michael Servetus, our forebear who was burned at the stake for writing on the errors of the trinity – and how Universalist John Murray landed right here in New England, well got stuck actually on a low tide and in a sort-of build-it and they will come story, ended up preaching in the church that was just waiting for his message of a loving God.  That way you’d know that yes, we are old – very old – not to be confused with the Moonies – and yes, emerged from Christianity but no, aren’t mostly self-identified as Christian now.  And if I really got going we could name names, leaders, and authors, and poets, and presidents even – were we to name drop, you’d probably hear about the Adams – as in John and John Quincy.

And, were I to be dwelling on such things, it might even be helpful to offer up some theological background – you know, that Unitarianism was a heresy to the trinity – that God was one rather than three, and that Universalism was also a heresy – inviting followers to believe God was a loving God who would let all creation’s children into heaven.

But if I did that, I’d probably have to go only to add our transcendentalists like Theodore Parker, Thoreau and Emerson – those who said ‘we don’t need anyone in between ourselves and the divine.  And then I’d have to tell you about the humanists and how our faith grew to include many understandings of God,  which is different, I think, than saying ‘oh – it doesn’t matter what you believe!’

And actually, were I going on about all of this, I’d likely be saying over and over again --- these people were believers – with a capital B.  It mattered that they believed and it mattered WHAT they believed and then it mattered what they DID.  What they were carving out was a way of being in religious community with an expansive understanding that each of us could hold pieces of truth, even if they were in opposition to one another ... and that a gem of our faith was in talking about those differences – dare I say even celebrating them.

And === gosh, just when you began to worry about how this was all about theology, I’d probably feel like I had to explain how justice seeking was embedded in that faith from the start and I’d probably talk about some of our heroines and heroes.  People who lived our faith out loud and large and proud BELIEVING that to be a person of religion one had to live a faithful life.  Perhaps informed by differing beliefs but formed together as a people who could, should and would make our world better for all creation’s children.  And maybe, just as I was about to go on a whole riff of how we were on the leading edge of justice seeking work, well, I know, were I on such a trajectory, I’d feel compelled, called even, to say it’s not just about who we were and are, it’s about who we are not

That we can be just as fundamental as other faiths.  That although we were birthed in beliefs that no one person or religion or lack of religion holds the truth, we lose sight of our best selves, often and live with an intolerant edge to those we assume are not like us.  That although we were weaned on justice-seeking events – we cannot call our work complete.  That it’s not enough that we were in Selma, we are a people who practice racism too.  It’s not enough that we worked for fair labor practices, educational reform, the right for women to vote and marriage equality, we oppress people too.  At times through our silence and inaction, but more importantly through our lives of privilege in systems built upon oppressing and exploiting others.  I’d get serious at that point, because I’d really want to be heard and too often when we travel to difficult places in our own identities – we get defensive and shut down.  And so, were I speaking to you of such things, I’d talk gently and say ‘it’s not about blame – that’s not who we are,’ but it is about seeing the truth, about embracing solidarity even when we’ve a price to pay and it’s so, so, so rich and so central to who we are.  And we have much to celebrate, as we continue to move forward, widening our circle across borders of all kinds.  And in that space, I’d remind us that sometimes in the celebration of who we are, we forget that we are best in relationship with other faiths and secular communities rather than in believing we are something better.  I’d stay in that gentle space once more to remind us that the something better is ín relationship’ with all other people who are something other than who we are. Maybe I’d start in on examples of when we do that really well --- and who are leaders in such efforts have been --- and then,  I hope I would catch myself and say --- you know who they were isn’t the point either.

And I’d take a breath and say, you see, who the Unitarian Universalists are, well, look around it’s you.  It’s you and me and all that formed us before we arrived, all that binds us now as a group, and please hear --- it’s all that we might be – should we so choose to believe. 

Who are the Unitarian Universalists?  It’s really quite simple, so I don’t know why I’d ever go on and on about it!

We are the Unitarian Universalists. 

Those who are here Today, choosing religious community

Believing that Together we are more

Moving toward a better tomorrow, for ourselves, for our communities, for our planet, our world for all creation’s children

We ARE the Unitarian Universalists, today, together, toward a better tomorrow!

May it be so.