A True Story With Gini, Wendy, Chicken & RIch the Chicken Guy ~

(Shared as a time for all ages on Sunday, Sermon follows below the story ~)

     This is a true story about how I made a new friend last weekend --- and how it changed my life.  I was visiting my friend, Gini at her house which is really a farm.  She doesn’t raise animals but has lots of land.  On two sides of of her house stretch large corn fields.  In the back of her house an orchard, a large stretch of grapes, more cornfields and then the forest.  One day two months ago a chicken came to live there.  She never knew where the chicken came from but she just arrived.  Actually she jumped out of a tree and startled Gini as she was filling a bird feeder. So for the last two months anytime Gini was home she would see the chicken.  Chicken liked to hang out under the bird feeder and eat any of the seed they spilled.  Chicken would go out into the corn fields and find left over corn and drag it over to the porch for a snack.   
      Now I have to tell you that I have never thought of chickens as particularly interesting or friendly animals.  And I have had a lot of animals as pets.  I’ve had a llama, two goats, four dogs, seven cats, a hamster and a tank of fish.  We even named the bat that lived behind the shutter (Bruce!) and the chipmunk that got inside and managed to elude the cats.  But I have never owned a chicken.

      Somehow though, this chicken caught my attention. So, when I visited for Thanksgiving I quickly went out looking for Chicken.  Chicken did not disappoint me.  I marveled at how fast chickens can scoot away when you’re trying to take a picture.  I was frustrated at how Chicken seemed to bob his or her chicken head just as I was trying to take a picture.  I was thrilled when I was sitting on the porch cleaning off some wood and Chicken came right up to check me out!  Thrilled and a little nervous – I thought will chicken peck at me???  But chicken behaved!

      That night, however, it got very cold and we wondered, just where does chicken go and how will chicken survive when nobody is here for long stretches of time?  After talking with some other people we realized Chicken needed to live where there were other chickens, in a place where there was proper food and water and a warm place to roost.  Even though we were truly enjoying Chicken’s presence, it would be in Chicken’s best interest to live somewhere else.  But now the challenge.  How does one catch a chicken??

       What we were told was simply find where Chicken was roosting and then late at night you can just pick up the Chicken and bring it to its new home.  Sounds simple – right? And so, late that night we went out with flashlights searching for Chicken.   I climbed under large evergreens and shined my flashlight up one and then another thinking perhaps they roost near the trunk.  Gini was smarter.  She walked around listening until she heard it making it’s Chicken night time noise.  It was a sort of cooing chicken sound.  She followed it and then found Chicken rather high up on the bough of an evergreen.  She turned to me and said, ‘Well, tall girl, it’s clear who will have to pick up Chicken!  Remember, Rich the Chicken guy said it’s easy!   

       So there’s Chicken, looking even larger than I remembered up about this high in a tree, eyes wide open and chicken feet and chicken ankles that look like they could hurt if things didn’t go well.  And of course, chickens have beaks.  So I said, ‘okay – but I am going to need some protection.  So I had a sweatshirt and winter coat, I wrapped my scarf around my neck several times.  I already had on a cap and gloves --- but just in case I added safety goggles!  I was quite a sight.  But then I thought the glasses would frighten the chicken and they felt pretty silly so I took them off.  So Gini shined the light and I climbed in as close as I could get and reached in, not really sure how to pick up a chicken and Chicken took one look at me and started to move away.  So I grabbed one of it’s chicken feet and it’s wings began to open and I quickly grabbed the other and wondered how sturdy are chicken legs, thinking now, not wishing to hurt it at all.  And I may have even closed my eyes as I swooped my arm around it as I pulled it toward me, shouting ‘get the towel.’  I then wrapped the towel around the Chicken which was truly much larger than I had thought. And hoped all would be well.  Chicken squirmed just a tad as I moved over into the light by the barn and then turned and seemed to look right at me. It’s beak very close!  After we snapped one last photo of our friend, Chicken, we climbed into the truck and drove Chicken to its new home.  When we left , Chicken seemed quite happy! 

        So --- this is a story that has two morals ...... the first is that sometimes the right answer is one that doesn’t make you very happy but is better for the other person, or chicken.  And the other is that sometimes you find friendship and happiness is the most unlikely person, place or chicken!

Sermon

I share that story about the chicken because it was one of the more uncomfortable moments of my life – face to face with chicken beak and and yet, life altering and rewarding.  Ha”  I cannot speak for Chicken, but for me, there is something so powerful in moving beyond our comfort zone.  In this example it was an organic process, it just unfolded.  The situation was such that it had to happen.  We couldn’t let the chicken freeze to death and there wasn’t some special Chicken Rescue person to call.  There didn’t seem a lot of choice and so once begun, that intimate interaction was inevitable.  True, Chicken may have ended up as a meal.  Hard to know, but we know Chicken did or will not freeze, starve or die of thirst. 

There are other times in our lives, however, when we have time and options that allow us to choose.  We choose to engage.  We choose to avoid.  We choose to disengage midstream.  That is our prerogative.  Our right.  In our lives we are faced with so many relationships and associations.  Often with people or organizations that hold views with which we disagree and therefore engaging includes the chance of being pulled out of our comfort zone.  Sometimes it happens right at the holiday dinner table around politics. Or at the YMCA about parenting.  Or in our workplace about religion or healthcare.  Or here about beliefs.  It is inevitable that we will encounter people with whom we do not agree on any number of issues.

Next week we’re hosting a panel discussion about the Israeli/Palestine relationship and I am certain many in town, and perhaps many right here do not agree.  I know we don’t all agree about the Occupy Movement.  We probably house differing views on the protection of animals and what it means to engage in ethical eating.  Anywhere people gather views will differ.  What matters is not who is right or wrong, but how we choose to engage in the conversation.  And at times, it might be how we choose to disengage or avoid.

Back in the 70s I recall visiting an elder relative.  A beloved elder of mine. She was in her 90s.  This was the last time I would see her before her death.  In conversation, I mentioned a cousin who was just a bit older than me.  She called her a  ‘whore.’  I was stunned.  At that time, my cousin was living with her boyfriend.  Something that wasn’t at all uncommon for my generation.  For this elder it was unthinkable.  In that moment, I chose not to engage.  There seemed no win in arguing.

I was 20 then and I’m not sure I would make the same decision today.  But I know I wouldn’t end the relationship over it.  And if I were to end a relationship anytime two of us has polarized views, my goodness, I would lead a boring life!  And how sad I would be if those friends and family members of mine, wrote me off, because they didn’t agree with my views and beliefs.

I’m sharing this topic today because a couple of weeks ago I was approached by someone in our congregation concerned that we had chosen to engage with the Salvation Army in our Un-decorate the Christmas Tree project.  The way the project works is that families are identified with specific needs and wishes and those are noted on cards and placed on the tree.  People are invited to take the cards off and purchase the item.  The person with concerns correctly noted the Salvation Army has an abysmal record in regard to the rights of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  The question put to me was whether or not we would withdraw from working with them on this project.  The comment was that some people might be very upset.

My response was that ‘No, we had made a commitment,’ and ‘this offers yet another opportunity for conversation.’  I added that maybe that conversation would lead to a communication written to the Salvation Army sharing our disappointment about their stance.  And wouldn’t that communication be more powerful once in relationship with the Salvation Army and not done at the expense of those we were seeking to serve.  I also added that this is but one example of where values we hold dear as Unitarian Universalists collide with where it is we choose to do business.  And that we all don’t agree in that regard either.

How about:

·      Wal-Mart is boycotted for exploitive labor practices in Bangledesh, poor treatment to US labor, and using pricing strategies to force out local businesses. Some say, buy stock and try to change policy.  Others say, boycott.  Add to this what our ‘position’ should be regarding communities where Wal-Mart is the only choice given the economics and accessibility to those with limited mobility and income?

·      The Boy Scouts.  On that same day, one of our youth noted with pride that a friend had achieved Eagle Scout.   And yet, here another organization with a poor record.  The short version – denial of admission to the three Gs – gays, girls and the godless.  And yet, what of our young people who have experienced a welcoming local presence, despite the national ruling and today testify how the organization shaped them in such positive ways.

·      Whole Foods – Some have called for a boycott of Wholefoods for CEO, John Mackey’s opposition to national health care. 

·      Make-up and drug companies because of their animal testing.

The list could go on and perhaps should go on ............... but the list isn’t what we’re called to engage with here today.  This isn’t about the Salvation Army or Walmart or which makeup companies use animals for testing.  There will always be a list, a boycott, a letter writing campaign.  And that is at it should be.  We should be involved.  But here, in this place which calls us to be our very best selves.  This place that calls us to honor diversity, we are called us to pay attention to how we engage with one another when we do not agree and especially in those instances where agendas collide.  Surely I am not the only one who lives in a family in which we all do not vote the same or joke the same or raise our children the same or even prioritize our values the same.  Anywhere people gather, differences will reside.  And for the most part aren’t we glad?  For the most part!

Growling at people with bags from Walmart isn’t okay.  Snarling at people seeking donations for the Salvation Army isn’t either.  I don’t think tossing blood, fake or not onto someone wearing a fur is kind and appropriate behavior.  We probably agree on those counts.

But we can go farther.  Here, in this house where we are called to stretch, let’s do just that and say ‘not only isn’t growling or snarling okay, but how about committing to these things too:’

1.   I will reserve any opinion until I have the full and current facts.  Because people change and so do organizations. 

2.   If I choose to boycott I will communicate my decision respectfully and share it with others.

3.   If I would have donated money through the organization I have chosen to boycott, I will donate it to another organization.

That’s the business list, now for the holiday table list.  That’s more difficult and perhaps more treacherous.  How about this for when we collide with views opposing our own

1.   I will listen to other’s views and find at least one question to ask in order to hear more about how they think.  When I ask that question I will listen to the answer and not try to refute their position.

2.   If it doesn’t matter to me, I’ll just say ‘Interesting’ but if it is important I’ll say ‘we disagree’ and state my position.

3.   If angers flare I’ll say ‘we disagree, but clearly this isn’t the time to discuss this, let’s table it.’

In both instances, the business list and the family list, we may well be traveling in territory beyond out comfort zone.  But it’s likely we are not alone there.  And the possibility to become something better than who we are lies in that zone.  That isn’t to say we will emerge with our minds changed but we will emerge with ourselves changed.  If even just a wee bit.  You see, it’s in the practice itself.  And so, we need this one other thing, in both cases:

4.   I will acknowledge that it’s not always easy, often messy and I won’t always be graceful or even good at it.  We need and deserve to fail and try again; to flounder and try again.  But it is worth it ~

I have shared this story once before some years ago but it’s worth retelling.  It’s the story of Harold, the wedding and the church stoop.  It was August of 2004 and I was meeting my friend Jory, a minister in Cambridge.  She said, meet me at church, I have to do a quick wedding.  Equal Marriage had just passed in May and it wasn’t clear whether it would be overturned or not and this couple wanted to be sure and get it done.  I arrived early and Jory and I sat down on the stoop of the Cambridge UU church.  A man who had been standing in line across the street crossed over and asked ‘May I join you ladies?’  ‘certainly, we replied’ and down he sat.  A big tall man, with a tan, khaki shorts, a teal polo shirt.  Because I am a social being, within about five minutes I knew a lot more about 80+ year-old Harold, his children and grandchildren.

 We had quickly become good buddies.  His wife was across the street waiting in line to get tickets.  He had opted out to sit on the stoop with what had now become his girl pals.  And then he asked the question.  “What are you two doing here.’  Jory answered ‘I’m here to do a wedding.  We’re waiting for the brides.’ “Briiiiiiiides, said Harold?’  ‘Yes, brides.’  You could see the agendas colliding in midair.  Harold soooo wanted a different answer.  We soooo wanted a different response.  After a moment, he found his voice and asked ‘How come it can’t be, you know, those ‘unions.’  Jory replied something like ‘well, when my daughter came home and asked ‘how come you and mommy aren’t married’ I didn’t have a good answer.’  Harold responded with  a startled ‘You have children?  How did that happen?’  The conversation continued a bit and then the brides arrived, pushing their son along in a stroller.  And God/goddess/essence of humanity bless Harold.  He stood up.  All 6’4” of him, stepped down to the sidewalk, said ‘I hear there will be a wedding today,  Congratulations.’  And shook both hands.

I carry that story with me always.  And not for the reason you might think.  Not because we changed Harold that day.  And I believe we did.  I believe that his children and grandchildren and others who knew him were impacted by that conversation.  Perhaps not.  But that’s not the power of the story for me.  I carry it because Harold was brave enough to stay on the stoop.  It would have been easy for him to boycott us, to walk back across the street. And he didn’t.  He engaged, and because of that I think each of us on the stoop were changed too.  And that, friends is the hope and promise of engagement.

     As we enter this time of so many gatherings, may each of us be willing and positive participants in that engagement. Let this holiday season be one in which rather than stretching our credit card limits we stretch our hands and hearts out to one another.  Even when agendas collide.  Perhaps especially when agendas collide.