Blessings ~

Practice gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude ~

Monday, December 16, 2013


   When I sit down with my family for our traditional Christmas Day dinner, it will be with an empty plate.  Beginning just after our Solstice Service on December 22 I will be starting a 72 hour Solidarity Fast for Immigration Reform.  This effort is taking place all over the nation. Some are fasting for a single day.  Some for many more. All are adding their effort to a group Fasting in Washington, DC. The DC fast began in November with 17 fasters and continues today with groups and individuals lending their support.  The original group said they do not fast out of hate or anger but have hope that change is within reach.  They noted frustration that there has been little action and the organizers at Fast For  Families say “This fast is our way to highlight the moral crisis that this nation faces with this badly broken immigration system. “ The DC group has drawn attention from many politicians and leaders and included a visit from President and Michelle Obama.
     I thought long and hard about the timing. There was never a question that I would lend my support. For me, this is the civil rights issue of our time. It’s not about border control. It’s not about US citizens losing jobs. It’s not about undocumented people draining our system. Each one of those myths continue to be used to manipulate public opinion. The money issue is the most egregious. It’s sinful how much money, our money by the way, is being pocketed by big business incarcerating people for as long as they can get away with it and disallowing any contact. Families are being broken up. Children put at risk. And they aren’t Canadian. That we are participating in such blatant human rights violations is unconscionable. If more people knew what the facts were, how racism is at work and how the primary victims are women and children, it would stop. Given that this is a time of year that so many of us honor the birth of a child and the hope of a different tomorrow, it seemed fitting to time my fast to include Christmas.

     For those wishing to join in the effort, please consider a donation to MIRA (Massachusetts Immigrant & Refugee Advocacy Coalition) at https://salsa3.salsalabs.com/o/50862/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=9403/or Centro Presente(member-driven Massachusetts Latin American org) at http://www.cpresente.org/donate or by  using the donate button on this page.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Sacred Gifts ~

      When I woke this morning, I knew I was going to write a newsletter article about gifts. What I didn’t know is that I would encounter one that brought tears and hope to my eyes.  Tomorrow, Dec 14, marks the anniversary of a death that shook our household. My 24 year-old niece, Sarah, was on her way to work.  She was a respiratory therapist. She was newly engaged to be married. She was a treasured older cousin to our school-aged children.    She was beautiful inside and out.  She was ours.
      Sarah was also grieving the death of her father, who just six weeks earlier had succumbed after a decade-long battle with Lupus. She had been a central player and angel in his care and in his peaceful passing.
On that fateful day, a drunk driver ended her life.  The entire family, still actively mourning the death of her dad, gathered. There at the same funeral home, the same church, the same group gathered, wept and tried to make sense of a world in which this could happen. 
       In the midst of the sadness stood one little blonde girl with a soulful look in her eyes and a broken heart. You see, Sarah was also a central figure in the life of her own niece, Beanie. Within 6 weeks, this little girl had lost two people who were arguably the people who held her closest in all ways. With a complicated family situation, her grandfather played a strong role in her daily life and she lived with Sarah. Of all those shedding tears, hers were perhaps the most difficult for me to witness.


And yet …. And, yet.  These were the words that greeted me this morning:

"My aunt Sarah was killed at 24 years old by a drunk driver on Route 16 in Milton NH at the 30 mile marker December 14th 2000, she was on her way to work where she was a brilliant respiratory therapist.. I do not carry anger or hate in my heart, because no matter how much you hate someone for something so horrible.. It doesn't help you heal. It just breeds hate. Don't breed hate."

       Sometimes we receive gifts that aren’t necessarily intended for us specifically. They aren’t wrapped. They don’t have tags. They are offered into the universe for those who might see their value. 
Thank you, dear one for passing this one along to me. 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Road Trip for the Soul!!!

       
 
Tomorrow I will be heading up to Ferry Beach in Saco, Maine.  The actual departure will be no doubt harried. On a ‘regular day’ I seem incapable of leaving the house without running back in at least once for something I’ve forgotten.  Planning for an entire weekend increases the odds of it being at least two ‘run-back-ins’ if not more.  To be fair, it’s a lot to think about.  Sleeping bag? Air mattress? Bathing suit? (Yes, you read that correctly!) Glow sticks for the late night youth sharing circle on the beach? Bananagrams? Toll money? Singing bowl?  Robe & stole? Graham crackers+chocolate+marshmellows? As I said, a lot to think about!  All important ingredients to help make our annual UUCM retreat, an actual treat for our souls.

Road trips for the souls can take time and effort but they are so well worth the effort.  They needn’t be trips to Maine, however.  They needn’t even involve a car.  They only require the delivery of yourself to ‘that place,’ even if it’s in your own backyard!
 I love the outdoors but I can count on one hand ‘those places’ that own a piece of who I am.  One is Lighthouse Beach in Annisquam (Gloucester, MA).  My soul takes over my body as soon as my feet hit the path and suddenly I find myself on the rocks, my shoes somehow shed and my feet moving me effortlessly to the sand and sea.  My soul humming its way into song and then flight! Another is our property in Michigan.  My soul begins a slow hum as we turn onto Zue Road.  As we pull into the driveway it begins to sing.  As I my feet land upon the dirt driveway and head in any direction – orchard, forest, corn field, garden, yard or grape arbor, my soul soars.   There are other places, each engaging my soul in different ways.  Familiarity inviting newness. Newness tickling an already happy soul.  Each place claiming me as much as I claim my spot within that special, sacred slice of the universe.  Special because we’ve claimed one another as home. Sacred because there my soul leads, letting my body and mind tag along.

And so, tomorrow I will scurry about, running in for ‘last’ things.  I’ll head north. Somewhere on Route 95, after the tolls & after the rest stop, my soul will take notice.  I will relax a bit into knowing that whatever I’ve brought I’ve brought and whatever I’ve forgotten, I can do without.  Worry about logistics won’t leave entirely but will fade. And the hum will begin, becoming louder as we exit into Saco.  When we turn the corner by the shuffleboard court and glimpse the ocean, the hum will turn into soul song.  As we pass the marsh grass and channels that wind out to the shore the song will grow strong.  As the door opens and the sound of the powerful waves reaches my soul, I will let go.  Moments later I’ll find myself on the beach, shoes left far behind. My feet will be in the water. My arms will hang loosely by my sides.  The wind will push at my opened hands. My face will lean into the sun and sea spray. And my soul will soar. And I will be glad.

~May your days include many trips for your soul ~

Friday, October 11, 2013

If We Mean What We Say ~ UU Principle #1

If We Mean What We Say ~ (An excerpt from a sermon series exploring the 7 principles of Unitarian Universalism http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/ )

If We Mean What We Say ~
(An excerpt from a sermon series exploring the 7 principles of Unitarian Universalism http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/. Image by fabulous UU Tim Atkins!)
“Inherent worth and dignity of every person.”  We tend to always read this principle as being about how we view and treat other people. We use it to fuel our efforts to impact change for ‘other’ communities. It is the subtext of all of our justice work.  Using that principle as an anchor we have made great strides in making more of our spaces accessible. We have journeyed further in understanding how racism is embedded in our system, benefitting some and harming others. We have learned to value multi-generational community, and in particular, our youth. This principle is at the heart of our efforts around securing equal rights for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning. All of these are good, honorable. Important.
But there is a more powerful way we are called to let this principle change us and through us, our world.  It requires enormous intentionality. It requires that we first apply the principle to ourselves.  That we embody the respect in a manner that alters us.  That we look in the mirror and say “There I am. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy.”
“ There I am. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy.  There I am. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. I will make mistakes today. I will blunder. I will take responsibility for my mistakes. There I am, flawed, beautiful, worthy. I will do good deeds today. I will show up. I will try to add goodness and beauty to our  world.  There I am. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. I will say the right thing today. I will say the wrong thing today. Either way, I will speak up.  There I am. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. This day is a gift and out into the world I go. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy.”
And if we can do that…. Here’s step 2.  Before you leave that mirror say “I will encounter others. They are flawed. They are beautiful, they are worthy. They will make mistakes today. They will blunder. They may or may not take responsibility for their mistakes.  There they are.  Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. Some will do good deeds today.  They will show up.  Some will try to add goodness and beauty to our  world.  There they are. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. Some will say the right thing today.  Some will say the wrong thing today. There they are. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy.  Mine
This day is a gift to all of us and out into the world we go. Flawed. Beautiful. Worthy. All.
And then ….. at THAT moment, you know THAT moment, when someone has just said the absolute WRONG thing and you knew it was coming, because you know them so well OR someone has disappointed you in a large way OR someone just slammed into your car in the parking lot ------ instead of reaching for time-worn habits that involve harsh words or gestures, reach instead for three words: Flawed. Beautiful.  Worthy.  And if you can, stretch for the fourth ~ Mine.
       If…..if we mean what we say, we need look no further than the mirror each day.


Sunday, September 1, 2013

Whisper from a Hummingbird (aka Another Reason to Join a UU Congregation!)

Today a hummingbird whispered in my ear and in that instant, my soul was renewed. I am ever grateful for this brave little bird. She whizzed by my ear and then flit from feeder to feeder, dancing on air, in front of me, in between each sip of the sugary nectar.
Most of the pictures I captured were out of focus because her wings moved so fast! But then she rested at just the right time and this picture was born, providing me a glimpse of her beautiful, powerful wings.  How could the hummer have known this was just what I needed today? 
             
       I'd just love to think that this magical little creature gazed down from her perch in the cherry tree, at me and thought "Hmm- Wendy looks a bit sad today, I think I'll buzz by. I know! I'll flutter by her ear and whisper 'look at life.'"  Now, I know that is anthropomorphic and, of course, all about me! Yet, the thought was just the boost I needed to keep me rooted in the life side of the creation equation.
      In times when sadness, loss and tragedy seem too present,  it is good to remember to 'look at life' rather than focus on death.  In a month where I’ve bid goodbye to several fabulous souls, one who left this earth far too young, it may seem presumptuous to make such a statement.  But choosing to 'look at life' is a perspective of choice that does not deny death, rather it focuses on each day of living. Even when we are in relationship with people nearing the end of their living.  Even when we are that person.
      When I was a young person, death and dying were things done at the hospital and rarely discussed.  Even serious illness seemed at best vaguely referenced.  Today, with the increased usage of hospice, advances in palliative care and an attitudinal shift towards end of life 'living' we are more able to live all of our days in the company of friends and family.  It is such a gift that our last days of living can be less about mechanical devices and more about our human interactions with people.  It is also a gift to be able to be part of a community of care in which we can help one another learn to be with sadness AND embrace living at the same time.   The focus on living is akin to the glass half empty/half full analogy.  Death and loss are never easy, but we get to choose how we arrive in their presence.   I'm of the belief that if we root ourselves firmly in living, even while in the presence of dying we serve each other and ourselves well.
        Reflecting back on recent weeks leading up to the recent losses in my community & the many difficult diagnoses among us, I am inspired by how well our community lives this philosophy.  I may have imagined the humming bird's whisper but the message from our community is loud and clear. Here, we live.  We live with one another.  Even when it gets difficult.  Even when it includes pain and loss. And so, we will live this day.
        File this under – 'Another reason to join a Unitarian Universalist congregation!'
               


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Remind me ~

Dear, dear creation,

Thank you for the seed.  The seed within me that calls me to come and plunge into the ocean just when I need it most.  The seed that tells me if I am very still this snail will come out to say a peek. The seed that reminds me of our interconnectedness with all that is creation.  The seed that calls me understand that a wound to one is a wound to all.

The seed that reminds me of this truth: life, even with death and injustice, is beautiful. Thank you ~

Thursday, July 25, 2013

- See more at: http://wearenottrayvonmartin.com/post/56433249723/i-am-not-trayvon-martin-i-am-a-56-year-old-white#sthash.eRU3zlVS.dpuf

Monday, July 15, 2013

But it's not about race? Actually, it was, before, after, during ... and it still is~

Someone asked what to say to a friend who believes the Zimmerman verdict wasn't about race: 

I'd start with 'I might have that reaction 15 years ago but have come to learn how pervasive racism is in our iives. And I'm still learning. There are times when I can agree to disagree but in this case, lives are at stake so I find myself willing to risk relationships in order to open more heads and hearts to seeing what our historically marginalized communities have known all along. Our system favors people who look like me. Period. The racism in this case preceded the events of that evening. The racism present in the neighborhood automatically put at risk people who looked like Trayvon Martin. The racism present in the political powers automatically favored anyone with a firearm pointed at a person of color. The racism present in the entire dominant social fabric automatically ramped up the expectations of consequences, feelings of entitlement & bravado in George Zimmerman. The racism present in the systems of power, including the justice system automatically moved to dismiss the facts of the case, leading to the 6 week delay in an arrest forced by widespread criticism and protest. The racism present in the judicial system led to the make-up of the jury. The racism present in your socialization, and many others, including mine for some years, leads us to this conversation today. And we are wrong if we allow that socialization to rule our heads and hearts. 

This was about racism. Period. And so, dear friend ---- I invite you to just spend a day, give that much to the Martin family --- spend just today imagining that this was about race and that an innocent young boy died at the hands of a racist system. And then let's talk again ~ I love you but I want to live in a world in which every child is loved and protected by all of us - and this isn't it. Multitudes of parents of children of color are sitting down tonight and reminding them how they are not safe in this world. Sadly, not for the first time. We need to be talking to our children too and telling them that they can either pretend this isn't about race or get busy changing it. Here's an important article you might start with 
.
http://www.timwise.org/2013/07/no-innocence-left-to-kill-racism-injustice-and-explaining-america-to-my-daughter/

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Letter to UU Congregation of Marblehead

Dear ones,

Last night was a tragic night in the ongoing struggle for racial justice in our beloved country.  The acquittal of George Zimmerman, in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, left many beyond articulation but clear in emotions of outrage, despair & sadness.  For many in the community of color, fear.  For many in the dominant culture, shame.  Since last night, texts, facebook messages, tweets and emails have poured in, each providing one more piece of trying to put words to this point of time in our journey.  Some focus on the jury - how could it be allowed?  A jury that was nearly all-white? Others on the racism inherent in the entire incident, recalling that it took a nationwide protest to get the shooter arrested at all?  Others still, mostly all of color, register their lack of surprise, noting on the arc of their own lived experience this stands as simply one more piece of being targeted, harmed and harmed again by an unjust system.  And yet.  And yet, those are also the voices of hope that call us all to the work of understanding racism as something so embedded in our dominant culture it can lead to none other than fear-based laws like 'stand-your-ground,' profiling people who are 'other' and a justice system that benefits financially from the continued incarceration of people of color and at the same time provides a different level of justice for the same population.  From an accurate analysis of our system, this is exactly the verdict we should expect.  And yet.  And yet, those among us who on this night will worry until their young are back home, worry as they drive their cars through upscale neighborhoods and see flashing blue lights approaching, note with dismay the extra attention inside of the retail store, wonder --- what of this do I share with my child tonight? ............................ they lead us with strength of purpose and hope, to say, the work continues.  For those of you who are most impacted by this event because you are a member of the community of color, or other at-risk identity group, I offer my prayers and sorrow that our world is not yet the world we profess to seek as a people of conscience and faith.  I pledge to you that my head, heart and hands will not waiver in the journey. For those of you, who like me, live within the privilege of the dominant Euro-American white culture, I applaud the efforts of those who are already well on the journey of understanding how 'white privilege' operates in our daily lives and societal systems  and invite you in to an intentional expansion of our efforts to educate ourselves, each other toward the end of working in effective, increasingly powerful and dear creation, I pray, transformational work.  


And with gratitude to a dear friend from Atlanta, I offer the reminder that anger toward the shooter, the lawyers and/or the jury, feed the less-best-selves within us and our task is so grand, we need our whole spirits engaged on the promise of a better tomorrow.  Let our prayer of today be a re-commitment to a future in which we share equally the justice so many of us take for granted. 


Yours on the journey ~

Rev. Wendy von Zirpolo


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Inherent Worth & Dignity ~ Even When the Majority Cries No

The Reading

Please Call Me By My True Names
by Thich Nhat Hanh

Don't say that I will depart tomorrow --
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.

The Sermon
When Tom Fowler cashed in on his winning bid of a sermon on any topic, we hadn’t yet heard the words ‘marathon bomber.’  Tom’s request was to speak to how Unitarian Universalists reconcile our commitment to honoring the inherent worth and dignity in every human being with people who commit such hideous acts.  He gave as an example the extremist Islam jihadists and others responsible for acts of violence and ways of being that oppress others.
The answers I knew I would share have not changed with the recent turn of events.
The answers reside on a spectrum. Here at one end, the belief that all  people, regardless of belief systems, race, ethnicity, gender identity, affectional or sexual orientation, economic class, level of education, age, physical or mental abilities are worthy and welcome here in our community.  Here at the other end of the spectrum, the belief that all people, regardless of behavior are worthy at all.  Here resides the sea pirate, the religious extremist of Tom’s question the non-religious owner of violence, the oppressor extraordinaire. And all this distance in between. 
And all of us. In between.
I present to you my belief that at this end, we do pretty well, at least in thought if not always in action.  We as a community have placed a theological stake in the ground publicly that here we are clear in our belief that all people have inherent worth and dignity.  We write it in our hymnal, we proudly display it on banners, we hold posters in marches. We post it, tweet it and wear it. We seek to be in solidarity, at times righteous solidarity with all.  We take pride in our leadership in this area and, importantly, we can often be found confronting our own learning in this area that we may be as true to our claims as possible.
As we travel the spectrum, our lived commitment to that ideal is as varied as our beliefs in the divine. Like all humans we struggle with openness to ‘other’ and at times fall short, individually and institutionally. I know I do.
But for the most part, much of this distance, is active ground upon which we help each other along the journey, calling out to learn more, stretch more, reach more.  It’s almost as if the ground is shifting under our feet but we’re okay with it because we know it’s shifting and at various times we’re the ones with the rakes and shovels.  Up to a point.
For me, that point used to be the sea pirate.
Almost a decade ago, when I faced the ministerial credentialing body for entry into UU ministry, one of their questions was about the sea pirate.  I had written about him in one of the many required reflections.  I said “I still struggle with the sea pirate. But I’ve reached a place where I know I am called to see him as part of my world.”
·        Buddhism had brought me to a place where I knew in head and heart that to claim membership of the family human was to accept that our world is full of beauty and ugliness, moments of compassion beyond words and hideous acts of hatred, saints and sea pirates.  
·        Unitarian Universalism had brought me up to know in my head that each person was gifted by creation with inherent worth and dignity. 
·        As a child, youth and young adult human nature and the privilege of a mostly protected life had allowed and encouraged me to hide from dealing with the pirate at all.
·        The pathway deeper into my faith required I no longer hide.
In the  years prior to and following that meeting I sought  conversation and counsel with my mentors in life asking them the same question Tom asked of me.  One was a beloved mentor from BUSTH who had traveled to Palestine to meet with Yasar Arafat just prior to what became known as the Passover bombings. With tears in my eyes I asked him “as a religious leader, how do you make sense of evil in our world? And beyond that  what do you do, as a man of faith and as a leader?” In his response he challenged me to step into the experience and lve the answers. He then went on to say perhaps it was time to call up some of his peers (Jesse Jackson among them), get back on the plane, link arms and walk through Jerusalem knowing some of them might not return. His picture, with Arafat sits on my desk. 
I spoke with another mentor, a Unitarian Universalist minister, after the arrest of a paedophile who was on staff at a YMCA where I coached swim.  I asked her  ‘How do you minister to those who have committed violence against another human being, especially a child?”  She told me that in each case, she visualizes a heart wrapped around the person and it allows her to remain in a place of love and compassion.
These just two of my many teachers preparing me for the moment when I could, should and would meet the pirate. Each of whom knew I would have to find my own way. Each holding me to the call to do so.  Each knowing that this is the ONLY pathway to our better tomorrow and we all need to each other along the way.
And then it happened.  My sea pirate arrived here in our sacred home. In 2008 a man who had been convicted of some hideous crimes moved here to Marblehead. The neighbors were frightened and in their fear behaved in some worrisome ways. The person who had rented to this man was trying their best to help him relocate elsewhere. The situation was volatile. The man had been here on a non-Sunday but spoken of attending Sunday service. Should that happen, plans were in place to address safety concerns, particularly a way to prevent any engagement with our young people. He would be welcomed, but accompanied and following the service, invited into a covenant that would openly identify safety concerns and require agreement about participation. Further, we were in conversation about communications with our members and friends, particularly parents.
Remember the spectrum?  I would place us well up at this end, communally, as we navigated what it would mean to allow and, further welcome this person into our community.
We never needed to activate those plans. Before Sunday arrived, he showed up here one afternoon, an open bottle of vodka in a brown paper bag in hand, alcohol on his breath, tears in his eyes, an angry edge to his voice.  He was in crisis. Standing in this hallway, he shared publicly that he had been on the wagon for some years but because of the situation, the leaflets in the neighborhood, the newspaper reports, the hatred expressed directly at him, he had succumbed.   Without a whole lot of thought, I welcomed him into my office to talk. (I’ve already had the lectures about the wisdom or lack of wisdom in doing so.  One person who knows situations like this well gave me a caring and stern tour of my office pointing out each potential weapon along the way.  I don’t think she made it all the way to the deer antlers because she caught my attention with the fire poker on the hearth and the scissors on the desk.)
There we were.  I had a simple goal-that this man not leave to go home to a volatile situation with the alcohol. I believed that the opportunity existed for this one day could have a better outcome than seemed written on the wall, should the liquor leave with him. I won’t share the details of our conversation. Just as I won’t disclose any others held in the confidence of that office and this vocation.  I will only share that when he left, it was without the bottle.  And I have come to appreciate his willingness to be in that conversation with me – and to call him teacher
In the context of today’s message, however, what I want to share is the ‘thing’ that allowed me to be in the conversation at all.  My teachers were correct.  I would find my own way. Wise or not, this conversation was made possible by one belief.  The belief that we are all gifted with a preciousness at our birth.  And that we don’t become sea pirates by accident.  Something happens to us at the hands, heads and damaged hearts of others who at some point had something happen to them at the hands, heads and damaged hearts of others who at some point had something happen to them ………..but in the beginning each of us is so very precious.  So, when I looked at this man, with tears in his eyes, my phone in one hand ready to speed dial 911, and nearly doing so twice, I saw a precious child too.  A precious child failed somehow by us.  And that made all the difference.
What for me was most remarkable about that moment, in terms of my own journey, is how unremarkable it felt and yet how it altered me permanently.  It was one of those ‘once arrived, forever there’ moments in time.  In the same way that once you begin to understand white privilege and racist systems in our country, you see it everywhere.  Or how binary our society is when it comes to gender. Once I was able to see this man, who had committed hideous acts, as fully human and a child we had failed, I could be in relationship with him as fully human rather than demonic other, evil doer, enemy to the mother in me.
My heart having been cracked open once, it seems to have remained so in a way I could not have predicted.  While watching some piece of the coverage of the marathon bombings, my mind went to this question.  Has Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the young man arrested for the marathon blasts, been provided access to a chaplain? And what followed was the knowledge that were I there, it could be me and that would be fine.
That is my personal testimony, that to see the preciousness each of us received as a child and to know that our world has somehow failed the person who lands in evil acts – or the people who land in evil acts, is how I reconcile the call to see the inherent worth and dignity of every human being.  But to your fine question, Tom Fowler, I add another. Why care at all? It’s a natural question for we of the always questioning faith.
One of my favorite lines in the Bible comes from Micah chapter 6, verse 8. “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”  Most of you know I’m not a theist but I am a believer.  A believer in making meaning of our lives, finding the timeless messages in the world’s sacred texts and using them to find and fuel our power -  for good.  This line in Micah has always spoken to me because of its simplicity – be kind, travel humbly, do justice (or in some translations love mercy). And I love it because I see it as that piece of divine messaging written upon our souls.  That this is our great collective calling, invoked and inspired by many names and none at all.  That we have the obligation and power to make good with each moment of our lives.  It is a stunning power and this spectrum is the path upon which we are called to use it.  We have the power to add kindness, compassion and a wish to understand another human being into the atmosphere each time we relate to another OR we can offer our bodies tight with anger, hatred, and a coldness that signals we are shut down to the possibility that the person before us has worth and dignity.  And I’m not just talking about the sea pirate –the doer of horrific deeds.  No, I’m talking the whole spectrum here.  Strangers and those closest to us.  Our partners, neighbors, children, fellow congregants, friends --- ourselves.
Our faith, Tom Fowler and all who will hear, calls us to understand that we are all of the people, from saint to sea pirate, and that we the people have the collective power to make things better.  But it can only be in relationship with one another. 

May we embrace our power to make it so.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

"In the grace of the world ..." - Wendell Berry



I rest in
When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

~ by Wendell Berry
  the grace
of the world
Someone asked today "How do we make sense of violence in the world and how do we understand what makes a person cause such harm?"  My head had many words to share, though not any answers.  My body, however, knows just what to do and seems to deliver me without thought to finding beauty, if even only for a moment.  Living near a beautiful beach is indeed a privilege and often I escape for a walk letting my body get its fill of fresh air in my lungs, sunshine or misty rain on my face and beauty all around.  None of it changes the world, but it changes me in ways that make me strong once more to face the questions that defy answers and strong once more to face a world desperate for more bodies, minds and souls rooted in beauty and balance.  May all beings have access to rest in the grace of the world and knowing so many do not, may those of us who do have access, drink deeply and remember not to rest too long and then get busy.
, and am free.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

These times are strange for everyone, I think, but in different ways.

       For many the events of last week seem unreal and the reverberations from the blasts continue, catching us in ways we could not have imagined.  Hearing the words “going out for a run” from a daughter, a friend asking if you want to “head into town for some shopping,” or lacing up your own sneakers, heading out for a walk or a run along the beach.  I had one of those moments today as I sat outside of the Haverhill High School pool finishing my coffee before heading in to teach swim.  It’s a parking lot I know so well.  For several years I pulled in there with my car full of my own children all ready to compete in swim meets, the car full of donations for the bake sale and the building about to be swarming with swimmers aged 6 to 18, coaches, officials, volunteers and families and friends eager to cheer them on.  Now, I arrive 2 weekdays to teach swim and some Saturdays to coach, and occasionally to walk the track.  At times the parking lot is full, especially in good weather as athletes and families head over to the adjacent track and fields with lacrosse sticks, soccer balls or just eager smiles.  This morning as I sipped my coffee I thought “wow – what if it happened here?” My mind stopped imagining the scene as fast as I could.  My own imaginings making me shudder.  Strange start to an ordinary day.
     These times are strange for everyone, I think, but in different ways.  Strange for those of us for whom violence is such an anomaly – at least in terms of what we see and experience first-hand each day.  Strange too for those who watch on and say “Do you finally get it?  This IS what life is like for us, all the time?” And those who say “Why all the attention and resources on this slice of violence?  Is it the color of the faces of most of those injured? It cannot be that it’s because it’s in Boston, because our children were lost here too. They weren’t running a marathon though.  They were walking home from school.”
     And strange as well for those who wonder “Did we fail this young man somehow?” This is the question that some will keep inside for fear of seeming unsympathetic to the victims or worse, traitors.  And it is a question that lived with me this weekend as I felt my heart fill with hope watching our youth sharing themselves with brand new faces at the Springfield UU Congregation, working together with those youth to improve a stretch of waterfront, leaning in to conversations with people fishing for dinner along the river, competing with heart and soul in a sing-off around a campfire and offering their reflections to a weekend of bonding and service.  On my late-night drive back to a city just beginning to express a sigh of relief I wondered “Where were we with this young man? The young man who shot up a school room in Connecticut? And others? “  Maybe we were with him and it just didn’t matter.  Or, maybe not.  We can’t know all the answers.  But I pray we don’t let vengeance or fear of not seeming ‘caring’ or ‘patriotic’ enough get in the way of asking the questions and seeking answers that may well lead to a safer and more just tomorrow ~

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Cannot bring back lives but can learn to tweet ~

A longer post later but right now I'd like to share a call to action for those using Twitter and a nudge to those who aren't yet using it but would if suddenly a reason compelled them to try (just go to twitter.com and follow directions to establish an account).https://twitter.com/

HuffingtonPost was good enough to post a list of all of the Twitter Handles (account names that you can write to) of the US Senators who voted against the background check gun control measure.  If, like me, you are any of the following: displeased, outraged, disappointed, beyond words, angry, sad, frightened, ticked off by fear and/or greed based voting, etc... you might wish to directly tweet each of the following addresses and share your reaction:

@SenAlexander,@KellyAyotte,@SenJohnBarrasso,@MaxBaucus,@SenatorBegich,@RoyBlunt, @JohnBoozeman,@SenatorBur,@SaxbyChambliss,@SenDanCoats,@TomCoburn,
@SenThadCochran,@SenBobCorker,@JohnCornyn,@MikeCrapo,@SenTedCruz,
@SenatorEnzi,@SenatorFischer,@JeffFlake,@GrahamBlog,@ChuckGrassley,
@SenOrrinHatch,@SenatorHeitkamp,@SenDeanHeller,@SenJohnHoeven,@jiminhofe,
@SenatorIsakson,@Mike_Johanns,@SenRonJohnson,@SenMikeLee,@McConnellPress,@JerryMoran,@lisamurkowski,@SenRandPaul,@robportman,@SenMarkPryor,
@SenatorRisch,@SenPatRoberts,@marcorubio@SenatorTimScott,@SenatorSessions,
@SenShelbyPress,@SenJohnThune,@DavidVitter,@SenatorWicker


We cannot bring back any of the lives lost to gun violence in our country but we can impact tomorrow and the next day and the next ~ 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Unitarian Universalist Congregation Offers Service of Sadness, Solace and Solidarity




     I have never been more grateful for the power of social media. As the tragic events of Monday unfolded, we needed a way to determine who might have been injured by the marathon bombings.  We always have people participating. One member is always at the finish line outside of Marathon Sports, others either participate or spectate and many work in Boston. It's such a close and caring community, I knew we needed a way to connect and keep each other informed. THANK YOU facebook, mass emailing and texting!  Within minutes notices of safety were shared and sighs of relief spread throughout the congregation.  
     Like everyone else, we're still dealing with the grief, the shock and the urge to make meaning in a time when that isn't likely possible.  What we can do is come together and make a space for people to express their grief and shock, light candles of sadness and hope be with one another as we try to move forward.  
     None of us have answers to the 'why' this happens or the 'how' we can protect ourselves but we know how to make space to companion one another.  Now is the time to do just that, and then more forward asking 'when' will we take violence in all of its many forms seriously.  Now is the time to live the answer and we can only do that in solidarity with all those impacted by acts of violence.

**The UU Congregation of Marblehead has postponed plans to celebrate Earth Day and instead will hold a service of holding sadness, sharing solace & expressing solidarity.  All are welcome.  Children will be invited to participate in an activity outside of the worship space following a story for all ages.  Consider joining us. The service will be Sunday at 10:30 am and child care is provided.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Family Human ~ Courageous Connections


We need to be open to creating family at every turn, naming it for what it is, even, perhaps especially, when it includes imperfection.  For when we are claimed as family at our worst, we know true love, accountability and hope.  Far stronger the bond which calls us to hold one of our family when they have fallen away from their best self.  Far more courageous the hand held out to say ‘no – that’s not okay, come and sit with me for a bit’ than the one that only reaches out to skip along together in joy.  And even more courageous to be the hand and heart that allows itself to be taken.  Choosing to connect with others in the family human at every turn is our certain pathway forward to a better tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Winning ~


Winning
is no longer
measured in my mind

Not attached to finish lines
stopwatches
money
or votes

Winning
resides now
deep in my soul

Measured by my heart
In smiles
justice
and peace

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Radical Generosity ~ Freedom, Joy & Power


Rick Ruzzamenti admits to being a tad impulsive. He traded his Catholicism for Buddhism in a revelatory flash. He married a Vietnamese woman he had only just met. And then a year ago, he decided in an instant to donate his left kidney to a stranger.”
These words open a story in the NYTimes article (Feb 2012) by Kevin Sack published just over a year ago. As someone committed to a path of increased generosity it grabbed my attention.  It seemed, well --- radically generous!  While the radical generosity of this one man, Rick Ruzzamenti, drew me in, the resulting story of 59 others is what continues to hold me, these many months later.  And, affirms a commitment to living a life of generous, and I hope at times, radical generosity.
The story goes something  like this --- in Feb 2011, Rick is moved by a story the desk clerk at his yoga studio tells him.  She had bumped into a friend at Target who needed a kidney and this woman decided to donate one of her own.  Rick, who was not even a blood donor, called the local hospital and offered to donate one of his.  Meanwhile, a fellow named Donald needed one but was 5 years down on the donor list and in increasingly poor shape.   His outlook looked grim.  Until, suddenly a kidney appeared.  It wasn’t Rick’s but it was at the end of a chain of 30 kidneys, all connected like dominos, with Rick’s being the one that tipped the whole chain into motion.  That decision of his was the final link in connecting 30 donors with 30 people in dire need.  His expectation of nothing in return fueled an engine that was then able to invite those willing to donate a kidney to a loved one, but who were not matches for that loved one, to donate one to a chain that would eventually result in a donation back to their loved one.  Rick became the final link in Chain 124.  A chain that would involve 17 hospitals in 11 states.  A chain that was the brainchild of a Long Island man named Garet Hil who founded this particular way of paying generosity forward because of his own daughter’s illness.
This was no easy task as many of the recipients had systems challenging to match with any donor.  Once complete the chain included: children donating for parents, parents for children, husbands for wives, sisters for brothers, distant relatives,  sibling donors, far-removed nephews, in-laws and Rick Ruzzamenti.  Ultimately, his kidney traveled on a red-eye from LA to NJ where it landed in a 66-year old man. That man’s niece’s kidney traveled to Madison, WI to Brooke Kitman, whose former boyfriend, despite a difficult split, agreed to send his along to Pittsburgh to Janna Daniels, where her husband’s kidney then traveled to San Diego where Mustafa Parks, a young father of two eagerly awaited.
All the while, the risk each person took was that the next piece of the chain would renege.
“One woman, Rebecca Clark had a little over two months in between her husband receiving his donor kidney and her needing to donate hers to the next person.  In the NYT article she reported that although it occurred to her she could back out, she chose to keep the commitment, stating “I believe in karma, and that would have been some really bad karma. There was somebody out there who needed my kidney.”
                An interesting piece of this story is Rick Ruzzamenti himself.  You might be picturing a man so obviously generous in spirit that nobody would be surprised by his decision.  Not so!  Through his own admissions we come to learn he could be surly, had himself been a heavy drinker and carouser in his earlier years, was known as an unsmiling presence at work and himself confessed that he did not visit his parents or grandmother enough.  But, here he was, willing to donate a piece of his body knowing it would help countless others, with no expectation of anything in return, and quite explicitly NOT seeking accolades or attention.  His motivation?   “It causes a shift in the world,” he said.
A shift indeed.  At least 59 other people and their families and friends and colleagues and hospital staff and neighbors and fellow congregants  and circles upon circles of communities not yet known back then would surely agree.
And another compelling voice in the world of generosity would agree too.  Nipun Mehta, founder of KarmaTube did a Ted Talk about what he understands to be the three stages of generosity - giving, receiving and dancing.  He too speaks of the importance of giving with no expectation of anything in return.  Research shows, he says that we are predisposed to give.  But then acknowledging what it is we do receive  - not in return for giving.  As a matter of fact he suggests that we toss out this idea of giving and receiving as measurable transactions.  That expecting ‘things’ in return for our gifts limits us to experiencing value in other, important ways.   He suggests that we open ourselves up to receiving multiple gifts from the ripples of impact, gifts of connection, synergy, trust and an internal stillness that is personally transformational – all as a result of following a practice of giving. 
The third stage is what happens when entire communities commit to living generosity.  When we do this, we let go of expectations of outcomes, stop keeping track of what we get for what we give, expand our giving and have faith in the power of that giving.  And we begin to dance.  To dance!
Mehta offered the example of the Karma Kitchens ..This is a pretty amazing program in which kitchens are taken over either weekly or monthly, run by volunteers who at the end of the meal present you with a bill that says you owe $0, because the people who ate before you, picked up the check.  They paid it forward!  This experiment in generosity was started in 2007 and now claims service of over 34,000 meals.  They say they cook and serve meals with love and offer them as a gift with nothing expected in return.  They then invite diners to pay for the next meals going forward.   They are seeking to seed generosity in the world and so far doing a pretty great job.
In a world in which we clutch on to all we have and parse it out reluctantly, it’s not always easy for people to accept such generosity, let alone understand it.  Take for example, the day a Berkley fellow, with a PHD in Computer Science was volunteering.  He had had the volunteer training.  He was ready!  He served his meals with love.  But, when he handed the bill to one of the diners.  The man said  ‘So, how does this work?  You just trust me to pay a right amount?’  The volunteer waiter replied “Yes, you’re part of this wonderful chain now. ”  The diner pulled out a $100, gave it to him and said “Well, I trust you to give me back whatever change is right!” The poor volunteer went into the kitchen shaking his head and thinking THIS was not part of the volunteer orientation.  But then he settled himself a bit and grounded himself in the purpose of the program – in generosity.  He went back, handed the diner his original $100 and then took another $20 out of his pocket and handed that to him too!  And the diner was completely blown away.  And because he was blown away, the volunteer was blown away too and the ripples began and everyone was energized!  I bet that story is still being told by everyone involved and by the many more that have heard it since and because I am telling it to you today, I bet some of you will repeat it as well!   Now --- you could look at this transactional-ly --- what was the cost of the food, where do they make they up, etc.  Or you could look at the dance that followed and how a whole different sort of value was created!  A new dimension of value. One where hearts and souls connected, minds were set free from a need to keep what is ours, to evaluate the worth of giving from a place of ONLY giving when we know what we will get and we deem what we will get worth it!  Imagine! Ripples of kindness and generosity set loose without expectation and without limits. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I know that my own journey toward a life of greater generosity had taken me to that place.  And that dance is one of freedom, joy and power.  The minute I let go of judgment about who is worthy or not of $1 or $2 when I see people begging on the street, entire stores of thought and emotion were released from my mind.  I was free.  With each load of clothing and other goods I give away, even thinking I ‘might’ use them one day, I become freer.  And all that freedom leads to joy in knowing today, another person has good boots to keep feet dry or better pans with which to cook or a third pair of socks because I don’t need more than 10 pair and have many more.  And with each financial donation I am freed and joyful and feel surges of power knowing my dollars are aligned with my values and put into play with other dollars for good and that dance, done with others, doesn’t keep me gazing upon my giving, evaluating, counting or seeking accolades.  Instead, it leaves me looking for more ways to give.  And so I joyfully make my coffee at home, have mostly switched to frozen blueberries offseason, and have downsized holiday gift giving considerably.  I’ve been known to give stacks of $1 bills to my children along with a note about giving, because I want them to live lives of joy too.
Mehta closed with these words “You give, receive and dance.   When you give you find that compassion is contagious and you start to create community.  When you receive,  and really learn to receive, you  start to discover abundance and when you Dance , not only to you create micro-gift economies but we start to seed a gift culture.”
And so, for your imagination I ask:  What would it be if here we chose to give far more than we imagined we could?  What would it be like if we chose to split our Sunday plate every week rather than do second offerings from time to time?  What would it be like if we chose to give it away every week?  If every week someone presented information about the organization that this week would benefit from our offerings?  Certainly the organizations to which we gave would change, transactional-ly.  They would be able to purchase more food, support more families, shelter more animals, build more homes, and so on.  But ponder this:  How would we change?  Would we then become the sowers of seeds to a new culture of generosity, deeper and more giving than ever before?   And what would the ripples of effects look like in our lives?  Like the diner, newly opened to a radical experience of generosity, who might we impact if we chose to live our faith in this manner.  Shedding all we have, each day of our lives.  We are so very generous, here in this congregation.  So very generous.  Yet, we can do more.  We’ll have to reach deeper into our pockets and perhaps reach deeper into our souls.  But we are on the journey and I have faith that we’re worthy of such lofty goals.  I actually believe it’s what we want.  To be called to lives of radical generosity and to belong to the place that calls us there!  To be free, dancing with joy and using our considerable power ---- for the good of all!  In the coming years I’d love to find out, here with you on the journey ~
I close with a story Mehta told at the start of his presentation.   A story he said took place on Christmas Day in Mexico.   A  father and son were sitting under a tree.  As they sat there, a little boy who looked to be quite poor was nearby.  The father turned to his son and said, son, give that boy one of your toys.  The boy was a bit reluctant but saw that his father was serious.  He looked down at the several toys he had with him.  He selected the one he played with least and began to head over to the little boy.  His father said ‘wait.’  Don’t give him that one, give him your favorite. The boy unhappily agreed but went ahead and took his favorite toy and went over to the little boy and gave it to him.  When he comes back his father thought he will have to explain to him the importance of giving and appreciate his generosity.  To his great surprise, his son returned with an unexpected emotion on his face.  The lesson already learned.  That emotion was joy.  His son, face gleaming looked up and asked only one question.  “Dad”  he said “that was amazing.  Can I do it again?”