Cannot bring back lives but can learn to tweet ~

A longer post later but right now I'd like to share a call to action for those using Twitter and a nudge to those who aren't yet using it but would if suddenly a reason compelled them to try (just go to twitter.com and follow directions to establish an account).https://twitter.com/

HuffingtonPost was good enough to post a list of all of the Twitter Handles (account names that you can write to) of the US Senators who voted against the background check gun control measure.  If, like me, you are any of the following: displeased, outraged, disappointed, beyond words, angry, sad, frightened, ticked off by fear and/or greed based voting, etc... you might wish to directly tweet each of the following addresses and share your reaction:

@SenAlexander,@KellyAyotte,@SenJohnBarrasso,@MaxBaucus,@SenatorBegich,@RoyBlunt, @JohnBoozeman,@SenatorBur,@SaxbyChambliss,@SenDanCoats,@TomCoburn,
@SenThadCochran,@SenBobCorker,@JohnCornyn,@MikeCrapo,@SenTedCruz,
@SenatorEnzi,@SenatorFischer,@JeffFlake,@GrahamBlog,@ChuckGrassley,
@SenOrrinHatch,@SenatorHeitkamp,@SenDeanHeller,@SenJohnHoeven,@jiminhofe,
@SenatorIsakson,@Mike_Johanns,@SenRonJohnson,@SenMikeLee,@McConnellPress,@JerryMoran,@lisamurkowski,@SenRandPaul,@robportman,@SenMarkPryor,
@SenatorRisch,@SenPatRoberts,@marcorubio@SenatorTimScott,@SenatorSessions,
@SenShelbyPress,@SenJohnThune,@DavidVitter,@SenatorWicker

We cannot bring back any of the lives lost to gun violence in our country but we can impact tomorrow and the next day and the next ~ 

Unitarian Universalist Congregation Offers Service of Sadness, Solace and Solidarity

     I have never been more grateful for the power of social media. As the tragic events of Monday unfolded, we needed a way to determine who might have been injured by the marathon bombings.  We always have people participating. One member is always at the finish line outside of Marathon Sports, others either participate or spectate and many work in Boston. It's such a close and caring community, I knew we needed a way to connect and keep each other informed. THANK YOU facebook, mass emailing and texting!  Within minutes notices of safety were shared and sighs of relief spread throughout the congregation.  

     Like everyone else, we're still dealing with the grief, the shock and the urge to make meaning in a time when that isn't likely possible.  What we can do is come together and make a space for people to express their grief and shock, light candles of sadness and hope be with one another as we try to move forward.  

     None of us have answers to the 'why' this happens or the 'how' we can protect ourselves but we know how to make space to companion one another.  Now is the time to do just that, and then more forward asking 'when' will we take violence in all of its many forms seriously.  Now is the time to live the answer and we can only do that in solidarity with all those impacted by acts of violence.

**The UU Congregation of Marblehead has postponed plans to celebrate Earth Day and instead will hold a service of holding sadness, sharing solace & expressing solidarity.  All are welcome.  Children will be invited to participate in an activity outside of the worship space following a story for all ages.  Consider joining us. The service will be Sunday at 10:30 am and child care is provided.

The Family Human ~ Courageous Connections

We need to be open to creating family at every turn, naming it for what it is, even, perhaps especially, when it includes imperfection.  For when we are claimed as family at our worst, we know true love, accountability and hope.  Far stronger the bond which calls us to hold one of our family when they have fallen away from their best self.  Far more courageous the hand held out to say ‘no – that’s not okay, come and sit with me for a bit’ than the one that only reaches out to skip along together in joy.  And even more courageous to be the hand and heart that allows itself to be taken.  Choosing to connect with others in the family human at every turn is our certain pathway forward to a better tomorrow.

Winning ~

Winning

is no longer

measured in my mind

Not attached to finish lines

stopwatches

money

or votes

Winning

resides now

deep in my soul

Measured by my heart

In smiles

justice

and peace

Radical Generosity ~ Freedom, Joy & Power

“Rick Ruzzamenti admits to being a tad impulsive. He traded his Catholicism for Buddhism in a revelatory flash. He married a Vietnamese woman he had only just met. And then a year ago, he decided in an instant to donate his left kidney to a stranger.”

These words open a story in the NYTimes article (Feb 2012) by Kevin Sack published just over a year ago. As someone committed to a path of increased generosity it grabbed my attention.  It seemed, well --- radically generous!  While the radical generosity of this one man, Rick Ruzzamenti, drew me in, the resulting story of 59 others is what continues to hold me, these many months later.  And, affirms a commitment to living a life of generous, and I hope at times, radical generosity.

The story goes something  like this --- in Feb 2011, Rick is moved by a story the desk clerk at his yoga studio tells him.  She had bumped into a friend at Target who needed a kidney and this woman decided to donate one of her own.  Rick, who was not even a blood donor, called the local hospital and offered to donate one of his.  Meanwhile, a fellow named Donald needed one but was 5 years down on the donor list and in increasingly poor shape.   His outlook looked grim.  Until, suddenly a kidney appeared.  It wasn’t Rick’s but it was at the end of a chain of 30 kidneys, all connected like dominos, with Rick’s being the one that tipped the whole chain into motion.  That decision of his was the final link in connecting 30 donors with 30 people in dire need.  His expectation of nothing in return fueled an engine that was then able to invite those willing to donate a kidney to a loved one, but who were not matches for that loved one, to donate one to a chain that would eventually result in a donation back to their loved one.  Rick became the final link in Chain 124.  A chain that would involve 17 hospitals in 11 states.  A chain that was the brainchild of a Long Island man named Garet Hil who founded this particular way of paying generosity forward because of his own daughter’s illness.

This was no easy task as many of the recipients had systems challenging to match with any donor.  Once complete the chain included: children donating for parents, parents for children, husbands for wives, sisters for brothers, distant relatives,  sibling donors, far-removed nephews, in-laws and Rick Ruzzamenti.  Ultimately, his kidney traveled on a red-eye from LA to NJ where it landed in a 66-year old man. That man’s niece’s kidney traveled to Madison, WI to Brooke Kitman, whose former boyfriend, despite a difficult split, agreed to send his along to Pittsburgh to Janna Daniels, where her husband’s kidney then traveled to San Diego where Mustafa Parks, a young father of two eagerly awaited.

All the while, the risk each person took was that the next piece of the chain would renege.

“One woman, Rebecca Clark had a little over two months in between her husband receiving his donor kidney and her needing to donate hers to the next person.  In the NYT article she reported that although it occurred to her she could back out, she chose to keep the commitment, stating “I believe in karma, and that would have been some really bad karma. There was somebody out there who needed my kidney.”

                An interesting piece of this story is Rick Ruzzamenti himself.  You might be picturing a man so obviously generous in spirit that nobody would be surprised by his decision.  Not so!  Through his own admissions we come to learn he could be surly, had himself been a heavy drinker and carouser in his earlier years, was known as an unsmiling presence at work and himself confessed that he did not visit his parents or grandmother enough.  But, here he was, willing to donate a piece of his body knowing it would help countless others, with no expectation of anything in return, and quite explicitly NOT seeking accolades or attention.  His motivation?   “It causes a shift in the world,” he said.

A shift indeed.  At least 59 other people and their families and friends and colleagues and hospital staff and neighbors and fellow congregants  and circles upon circles of communities not yet known back then would surely agree.

And another compelling voice in the world of generosity would agree too.  Nipun Mehta, founder of KarmaTube did a Ted Talk about what he understands to be the three stages of generosity - giving, receiving and dancing.  He too speaks of the importance of giving with no expectation of anything in return.  Research shows, he says that we are predisposed to give.  But then acknowledging what it is we do receive  - not in return for giving.  As a matter of fact he suggests that we toss out this idea of giving and receiving as measurable transactions.  That expecting ‘things’ in return for our gifts limits us to experiencing value in other, important ways.   He suggests that we open ourselves up to receiving multiple gifts from the ripples of impact, gifts of connection, synergy, trust and an internal stillness that is personally transformational – all as a result of following a practice of giving. 

The third stage is what happens when entire communities commit to living generosity.  When we do this, we let go of expectations of outcomes, stop keeping track of what we get for what we give, expand our giving and have faith in the power of that giving.  And we begin to dance.  To dance!

Mehta offered the example of the Karma Kitchens ..This is a pretty amazing program in which kitchens are taken over either weekly or monthly, run by volunteers who at the end of the meal present you with a bill that says you owe $0, because the people who ate before you, picked up the check.  They paid it forward!  This experiment in generosity was started in 2007 and now claims service of over 34,000 meals.  They say they cook and serve meals with love and offer them as a gift with nothing expected in return.  They then invite diners to pay for the next meals going forward.   They are seeking to seed generosity in the world and so far doing a pretty great job.

In a world in which we clutch on to all we have and parse it out reluctantly, it’s not always easy for people to accept such generosity, let alone understand it.  Take for example, the day a Berkley fellow, with a PHD in Computer Science was volunteering.  He had had the volunteer training.  He was ready!  He served his meals with love.  But, when he handed the bill to one of the diners.  The man said  ‘So, how does this work?  You just trust me to pay a right amount?’  The volunteer waiter replied “Yes, you’re part of this wonderful chain now. ”  The diner pulled out a $100, gave it to him and said “Well, I trust you to give me back whatever change is right!” The poor volunteer went into the kitchen shaking his head and thinking THIS was not part of the volunteer orientation.  But then he settled himself a bit and grounded himself in the purpose of the program – in generosity.  He went back, handed the diner his original $100 and then took another $20 out of his pocket and handed that to him too!  And the diner was completely blown away.  And because he was blown away, the volunteer was blown away too and the ripples began and everyone was energized!  I bet that story is still being told by everyone involved and by the many more that have heard it since and because I am telling it to you today, I bet some of you will repeat it as well!   Now --- you could look at this transactional-ly --- what was the cost of the food, where do they make they up, etc.  Or you could look at the dance that followed and how a whole different sort of value was created!  A new dimension of value. One where hearts and souls connected, minds were set free from a need to keep what is ours, to evaluate the worth of giving from a place of ONLY giving when we know what we will get and we deem what we will get worth it!  Imagine! Ripples of kindness and generosity set loose without expectation and without limits. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I know that my own journey toward a life of greater generosity had taken me to that place.  And that dance is one of freedom, joy and power.  The minute I let go of judgment about who is worthy or not of $1 or $2 when I see people begging on the street, entire stores of thought and emotion were released from my mind.  I was free.  With each load of clothing and other goods I give away, even thinking I ‘might’ use them one day, I become freer.  And all that freedom leads to joy in knowing today, another person has good boots to keep feet dry or better pans with which to cook or a third pair of socks because I don’t need more than 10 pair and have many more.  And with each financial donation I am freed and joyful and feel surges of power knowing my dollars are aligned with my values and put into play with other dollars for good and that dance, done with others, doesn’t keep me gazing upon my giving, evaluating, counting or seeking accolades.  Instead, it leaves me looking for more ways to give.  And so I joyfully make my coffee at home, have mostly switched to frozen blueberries offseason, and have downsized holiday gift giving considerably.  I’ve been known to give stacks of $1 bills to my children along with a note about giving, because I want them to live lives of joy too.

Mehta closed with these words “You give, receive and dance.   When you give you find that compassion is contagious and you start to create community.  When you receive,  and really learn to receive, you  start to discover abundance and when you Dance , not only to you create micro-gift economies but we start to seed a gift culture.”

And so, for your imagination I ask:  What would it be if here we chose to give far more than we imagined we could?  What would it be like if we chose to split our Sunday plate every week rather than do second offerings from time to time?  What would it be like if we chose to give it away every week?  If every week someone presented information about the organization that this week would benefit from our offerings?  Certainly the organizations to which we gave would change, transactional-ly.  They would be able to purchase more food, support more families, shelter more animals, build more homes, and so on.  But ponder this:  How would we change?  Would we then become the sowers of seeds to a new culture of generosity, deeper and more giving than ever before?   And what would the ripples of effects look like in our lives?  Like the diner, newly opened to a radical experience of generosity, who might we impact if we chose to live our faith in this manner.  Shedding all we have, each day of our lives.  We are so very generous, here in this congregation.  So very generous.  Yet, we can do more.  We’ll have to reach deeper into our pockets and perhaps reach deeper into our souls.  But we are on the journey and I have faith that we’re worthy of such lofty goals.  I actually believe it’s what we want.  To be called to lives of radical generosity and to belong to the place that calls us there!  To be free, dancing with joy and using our considerable power ---- for the good of all!  In the coming years I’d love to find out, here with you on the journey ~

I close with a story Mehta told at the start of his presentation.   A story he said took place on Christmas Day in Mexico.   A  father and son were sitting under a tree.  As they sat there, a little boy who looked to be quite poor was nearby.  The father turned to his son and said, son, give that boy one of your toys.  The boy was a bit reluctant but saw that his father was serious.  He looked down at the several toys he had with him.  He selected the one he played with least and began to head over to the little boy.  His father said ‘wait.’  Don’t give him that one, give him your favorite. The boy unhappily agreed but went ahead and took his favorite toy and went over to the little boy and gave it to him.  When he comes back his father thought he will have to explain to him the importance of giving and appreciate his generosity.  To his great surprise, his son returned with an unexpected emotion on his face.  The lesson already learned.  That emotion was joy.  His son, face gleaming looked up and asked only one question.  “Dad”  he said “that was amazing.  Can I do it again?”

Nutrients for the Soul ~ Remembering, Knowing & Believing

A sermon informed by the teachings of Pema Chodron, the hymn “Come, Come Whoever You Are” and the reading “The Call” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Last week, informed by the work of Pema Chodron, you were invited to accept yourself as you are, fully.  To leave behind ‘if only’s’ “if only I were smarter, thinner, had more money, thicker hair, longer eyelashes, a better job, more patience, more talent, whatever….’  Leave these behind and accept the simple fact that each of us is exactly who we are in this moment.  We have been shaped by our lives.  If we have lived through difficult and unfair times, those have shaped us in some manner.  If we have lived through glorious and fulfilling times, those have shaped us as well.  Each act of kindness has left a mark.  Each act of cruelty too.  We arrived with our own unique hard wiring and followed unique pathways.  We are a work in progress.  How long?  For exactly the number of years, days and minutes we existed as a piece of creation.  

Last week’s invitation was to accept our bodies and minds exactly as they are today, including getting rid of all the other voices and influences that stand so vocally in judgment.  Out with the advertisements calling us to be thinner, taller, blonder, shinier, more petite, more muscular, better dressed, better mated, better equipped, better accessorized, better anything!  Out with those voices!  Out too with those voices around us, letting us know in sometimes not too subtle ways exactly what we can do to fix ourselves.  ---- OUT with those voices too.  And then the hardest task – banishing our own judgmental voice.  Whether we harbor a self-loathing voice or a gentler yet critical voice that causes shame or simply wishing ‘if only …..’ friends, OUT with that voice too.

What remains is this one simple truth.  This is who we are.  The pieces people love about us. They’re here.  The pieces people don’t love about us, they’re here too.   The same piece of me that allows me to respond quickly to crisis is somehow tied to the piece that doesn’t like filing systems at all.  The piece of me that allows me to feel compassion and help a family journey through pain, it’s likely tied to the piece of me that at times is too tender.  And the piece of me that allows me to leap out of an airplane and will likely take me scuba-diving with sharks, I bet that is somehow wired to the piece of me that makes me a little dangerous with power tools and not unfamiliar with emergency rooms.  It is not our work today to fix a single piece of it or to wish it away.

 Pema Chodron called us to accept ourselves, as fully ourselves and instead of trying to fix any piece, to step into better relationship, loving relationship with those pieces we feel least fond of or perhaps even fear.  To step in with curiosity.  For me, that practice has turned into one of asking “Who am I in this moment? “  By asking honestly and with real curiosity, pieces of ourselves are revealed to ourselves, free of any other voice saying who we should be.  If I’m frustrated with being left on hold yet again trying to get an answer from my phone service, but ask myself “Who am I in this moment?”  my answer may well be “I’m the person who already spent 20 minutes getting shuffled around and getting more frustrated by the minute.”  Or what I’ve noticed having followed this practice for some time now, calmness arrives in the asking of the question alone and I reply “Ahhh.  I’m the person who values taking care of an error on her bill and who really understands that the people trying to help me didn’t create the error.”  This doesn’t always happen, but I’ve noticed it is more and more the case. 

This practice can result in change.   It’s through watching with curiosity ‘Who’ we are in our lives that we can best discern how we might wish to grow.  It doesn’t require a single outside voice or self help book------ which is different than saying you need not consult with your mate or family or employer before you act on important things or seek professional assistance when needed or ever read a self-help book.  This is different.  It’s about getting to that quiet place – even if you don’t meditate.  That place that is quiet because no other voice remains but your own.  That place where you can learn all you want about humanness because you are the expert on this one human being – this one wonderful human being – you!  Don’t go there with trash bags to clean up, go there with a chair, a cup of tea and a loving heart.  Go sit, sip and learn – about you.

A small piece from last week’s Pema Chodron reading  "Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore, it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness. We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we are doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we are doing." 

Now that we’ve been reconnected with the start of our soul cleanse from last week and introduced to newcomers to the cleanse, it’s time to add some nutrients.   Here we are with the noise cleared out --- out harsh toxins, out!  But the world of noise waits just beyond those doors.  It’s always there.  Like  ….. well pick any piece of commercialism you disdain – a jingle, an advertisement series, perhaps it’s sports, or politics, or whatever it is and just picture it waiting at the door.  Waiting to leap upon you and take over once more.  Like a large monster. We live in a world of beauty, true,  --- but also THAT.  THAT which shall consume us, if we let it.  THAT which waits eager to suck our souls dry.  To inhabit them, take up all the space and drive our lives.

So we need to make sure we have things in place to block THAT.  We need to make sure our souls have life affirming energies that reside there, not just visit or fight to get in.  So THAT won’t be able to get in.  When I teach my swim students to go underwater without holding their noses, I tell them it’s simple, just blow air out.  If air is coming out your nose, water cannot get in.  We want it to be the same with our souls. 

And, just as in the case with my swimmers, it takes practice.  And some days you forget and it hurts!  Actually, it burns!  No theological meaning intended!

But, challenge as it turns out…. Good for the soul!

I suggest we need only three things to keep our soul nourished, healthy and full.   From the reading Hazel offered us, Oriah tells us to listen to that voice you’ve heard all of your life.  Not from others or THAT but from within and from creation.  She writes

“Remember what you are and let this knowing  

take you home to the Beloved with every breath”

And so, our first nutrient for the soul ----------- Remembering

Oriah’s words again

“Hold tenderly who you are and let a deeper knowing  

colour the shape of your humanness.”  

Our second nutrient --- Knowing.  Knowing you are enough, just as you are.  And you are beautiful.

One final nutrient -  “Believing.”

Believing you have something of yourself to offer the world.

Oriah writes

 “Be one word in this great love poem we are writing together.”

          Essential nutrients for the soul --- Remembering you are part of creation and you belong here.  Knowing you are enough just as you are and you are beautiful.  And Believing, the world needs your unique self. 

This work of the soul goes on and on.  Do not be dissuaded when you find yourself astray.  Look around.  You’ll see me there!  Hold dear the teachings of Pema Chodron.  Refrain from chastising yourself for digressions or even moments of being far from  your best self.  Instead pay attention to you in that moment.  Look with curiosity at who you are right then and there.  Ask “Who am I in this moment?”

Remember Rumi – “Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving…”  Even if you have strayed, says he, come back, “come yet, again come.”  The less frequently sung words of his prose “Though you’ve broken your vows a thousand times.”

Just as we must tend our bodies differently, and at times, diligently as we move through life.  So, too our souls.  We’ll never be done with either.  What we need for food, as a babe in our mothers arms is different than what we need for food as we first start to learn to read and write and different than when we race down a field in our teens or deal with growth spurts or changing hormones and different than what we need for food if we are pregnant or nursing mothers ourselves and different than what we need for food as our lives slow or we face illness of limb or organ.  And different still from the food we will choose as we enter our final days of living. 

Our bodies need nourishment.  It is the same for our souls.  When we are born our souls need to feel love & are fed by caring connections teaching us that we belong.  They need to be welcomed into the world with soft hands and warm chests. As we grow our souls need the freedom to feed curiosity and to experience the world.  To take in all creation has to offer and experience it as home.  The mountains, the oceans, wildflowers and deer.  Leaping, singing, laughing and sobbing.   And then our souls need more --- they need to learn empathy, by us caring for others close to us and then deep accountability through caring for others outside of who we can see and touch.  Until we learn them as family too.  And then as we move through life encountering grief and loss and pain, our souls need for us to open and reopen pathways to our core and for us to have the courage to risk trusting our souls to the touch of others – lovers, family, friends, strangers.  And as with the Rumi poem, return and return again, even when we’ve been wounded and blocked those pathways.  Our souls wait, hoping for us to return to the task and open them once more.  Hoping that all THAT waiting at the door won’t invade.  Hoping we will remember, we will know and we will believe.  And return again to live the next moment fully alive and present to all creation – the good, the less good, the furthest from good, the beautiful, the miraculous, the ordinary.

May it be so ~

NO MORE ‘If only …….’s

(Each January at UUCM we have a ritual 'Burning of the Chaff' in which we name a piece of ourselves we want to leave behind as we enter the coming year.  This year we took a different approach, guided by the following which includes the teachings of Pema Chodron.)
       As part of my sabbatical time I stepped more deeply into the teachings of  Pema Chodron.  She’s long been a guiding force in my own spiritual journey and companions me still.  Last year, at this time, I explored her writings about awakening loving kindness within our own hearts.[1]   Her words altered me in ways that are still unfolding.  In her gentle manner she tossed out all I thought I knew about the pathway toward better self.  She said ‘Don’t look at what you need to improve.  Look at who you are. Come to terms with who you are.  Study who you are.  Get to know yourself and once done, by the way, learn to treat yourself with loving kindness.’  In doing so, she pretty much ruled out any thinking of ‘if I could only do this or that better, life would be good.’  Her examples included

·       If I could only have a nicer house, I’d be a better person. 

·       If it weren’t for the fact that my boss and I can’t get on, my job would be just great. 

·       If I could meditate, I would be a better person.

Instead of ‘if only’s’ she said “this is the body you have, the mind you have, this is you – right now, right here.  You have everything you need to be “fully human, fully awake, and fully alive” 

Interesting concept, isn’t it?  So, this body that needs five pillows and sometimes drugs to sleep partially through the night is what I have. Let go of the ‘if only’s and make friends with it.’  And this ‘me,’ that talks too much most days, let’s her heart get too grabbed by the world at times to the detriment of family and friends and let’s some traffic patterns and drivers choices rile her unnecessarily, well that me is what I have right now and I should let go of ‘if only’s and make friends with it.’ Hmmmm --- interesting!  Could it be that my New Year’s resolutions of, lose weight to make my knees happier, do my shoulder exercises and be more careful in the pool, do the Dr. Oz body 3-day spinach and kale body cleanse once each month, keep a tape of Thich Nhat Hanh’s breathing meditation in my car for those traffic moments, talk less and listen more and tend, tend, tend family and friends at least as much as I tend the world ……………….. could it be that I could just toss out that list and make friends with my body and mind?????  My winter is looking up!  EXCEPT, except, I read all of Pema Chodron’s writings. 

And so, Alas ~ and with appreciation ~ I share these words from Pema Chodron:  

“ One of the major obstacles to what is traditionally called enlightenment is resentment, feeling cheated, holding a grudge about who you are, where you are, what you are.  This is why we talk so much about making friends with  ourselves, because, for some reason or another, we don’t feel that kind of satisfaction in a full and complete way.   Meditation is a process of lightening up, of trusting the basic goodness of what we have and who we are, and realizing that any wisdom that exists, exists in what we already have.  Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis.  Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore, it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness.  We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we are doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we are doing.  The key is to wake-up, to become more alert, more inquisitive and curious about ourselves.”

NOW – a disclaimer.  THIS IS NOT to say ‘it’s okay to be nasty to people if you feel like it or kick small animals or gesture at people on the road, even if they don’t seem to understand what a yield sign means!  And I certainly am not saying I condone ‘worst self behavior’  in myself or anyone else.  Chodron’s words are actually a lot like UU theology.  Just as each of us is responsible for discerning what we believe is true about the divine and the mysteries of creation, so too, with our own soul work.  If we are to take these words to heart, we won’t be starting the year by getting rid of pieces of us we see as ‘bad.’  Rather, guided by the words of Chodrun and a religious tradition that calls us to accountability, we’ll get rid of all the noises in our world that tell us how life should be, how our bodies should be, how our minds should be, how our hearts should be, and we’ll commit to stepping into closer relationship with the areas we are least fond of, perhaps even those that frighten us most. We’ll choose one or more and name them.  Not to expel them from our perfectly imperfect selves, rather to say ‘It’s just you and me now, in the conversation.  I’ll let go of all other outside influences.   All other voices, gone.   I’ll commit to knowing you, this part of me, because you are me.  I’ll step in closer with curiosity, gentleness and love, because you are me.  Rather than hate you, I’ll seek to know you, with faith that in doing so, I will become a better person.  And because I will become a better person, I will help create a better world.

And so, readers, an invitation to reflection.  “What piece(s) of you might you have yearned to leave behind as you enter the new year, in hopes that ‘if only……… I would be a better person or life would be better.’  Might you instead commit to tossing out all other influences and voices and expectations and step into that piece of yourself,  with curiosity & loving kindness for your good and the good of all?

---

[1] Awakening Loving Kindness by Pema Chodron